My Safe Haven

see u soon!

2012-02-16T08:58:00.000-08:00

Just checking on my baby whom I haven't paid attention to for quite sometime now. I am sitting here having breakfast, writing this while touching bases with my boss. Tying up some loose ends before I leave. Hmmm, multitasking seems to be the norm for me these days. Not always good but most of the time, it works to my advantage.

I had quite an adrenaline rush this morning trying to get all my stuff packed. I'm telling you, some things never change. Got a plane to catch at 1 pm. See you Chicago!!!

Baby, you don't always here this words from me. But know that I do... love you. You are everything I've wished for. Mahal na mahal kita...

"YOU gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I'm feeling
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I've gone beyond existing
And it all began when I met you"

WB SIRI!

2012-02-11T13:45:00.001-08:00

My Siri is back! I went bananas when she quit on me yesterday. I hardly ever use her! Is that what happens when you don't give anything some kind of attention? So glad to have her back!

I think I hurt myself yet again. I haven't practiced Tai Chi in months and trying to get back into it is causing me major pain. I am not going to quit though. Just wondering if this is the price I have to pay for tying to live a healthy lifestyle. I so miss eating french fries. My comfort food has been taken away from me due to my lack of time for exercise. Hhmmm, maybe I can live a little tonight... maybe... Will paint the town red... I am going to try to meet my friend's expectation of me plunging into the waters of my new found adventure. Time to loosen up after a month of working non-stop. ;) Ciao!

why the silence?

2012-01-26T14:16:00.000-08:00

Emotional blackmail is never a good thing. That is so juvenile! See, your personal inuendos worked against you. Your damn right, I am not just a paper tiger. I am hoping that your capacity for self-sabotage is not boundless. Otherwise, you will just hurt yourself in the process. You repeatedly asked why the silence? Sometimes silence is the best statement anyone can make. I've had it.

Thank you Big Brother!

2011-12-30T15:22:00.000-08:00

One more day before we bid goodbye to 2011. I have mixed emotions about it ending only because I had such a great year. I have no clue what lies ahead. But on the other side of the coin, not knowing what's in store for us makes it all the more exciting.

Before the year ends, I just want to express my gratitude and appreciation to Santa for a wonderful Christmas gift. I was not really expecting anything big. I knew that if I was going to get anything, it would be contingent on how I did this year. To me, a little bit of appreciation goes a long way. Even a simple card would suffice. To my surprise, Santa gave me more than what I feel I deserve. Bonus is not a given. Even though some companies have a lot more money at their disposal, it is still their prerogative to give it or not. And I guess, I am just one of the lucky ones who got it. Thank you Mr. M! It is more than enough for another trip to Europe! :) Thank you for going the extra mile for me... You have all my respect.

And to you Big Brother, thank you so much for the new toy... the Viper(as I fondly call it) that I have grown to love. Thank you for this good life!

Happy New Year everyone!!

Good Riddance!

2011-11-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

Thank you God! You never fail to amaze me. Things really do happen for a reason. Lucky is not the word I know but, blessed. For that, I am keeping my end of the bargain. I now have a clearer picture of what I am up against. Thank you for helping me see things in a different perspective.

And you, you burned the bridge, deal with it. Just be careful what you wish for... When you stretch things too far, some things get broken in the process. You CANNOT have it both ways. Respect is earned, not given. Trust? People don't want to have anything to do with people they can't and don't trust. I am no different. You are not the person I thought you were. I should have paid more attention to the early warning signs but oh well. Good riddance!

Fear of the Unknown

2011-11-17T08:15:00.000-08:00

It’s been tough at work lately being that the market continues to decline and is so volatile. And to put icing on the cake, it appears that we have yet to hit bottom. Today's economy has just about everybody cutting corners on extraneous expenses. Not only are we dealing with the market correction but, the usual winter month slow down as the end of the year approaches. We are facing a two-headed monster right now. It's common knowledge that some tough business decisions will be made. Just need to summon some courage to do it.

I received a phone call from one of our contacts early last week and learned that one of the major buyers have completely pulled out of the market. The people I answer to were not happy about it and won't cut me some slack which made it very pleasant to work under pressure (sarcasm!). Their disapproval of what transpired days prior was in flamboyant display. Long story short, China has decreased bulk cargo sales overseas. Little to no demand of commodities result in supply overflow. Therefore, prices dropping is out of the question. It has been a roller coaster ride.... pretty overwhelming I should say, but, I guess it’s just a simple matter of acclimating to uncharted territory. I haven’t taken a deep breath for as long as I can remember. Tuesday, I finally took one.

Few weeks back, I was asked to make a business pitch to a potential client. I was a nervous wreck since it was my first time talking to some people who know the business like the back of their hands. One wrong move will jeopardize what we're trying to achieve. Note that my degree in college is in no way related to what I am doing now for a living. Everyday I learn something new. Anyways, I went ahead and kept saying to myself "it's the perfect opportunity for me to test the waters". If the feedback is not good, then, it's time to look for another one. Life's too short for the wrong job. You can only imagine how many saints I prayed to. Being in that moment made me realize how easy it is to over analyze a situation before it even happens but when you are finally in it, you will learn to cope and do whatever it takes to get out of it alive. I don't know how I did it but I think there's a conscious effort to say the right things not to mention the convincing power that played a major role in winning the bid. The pitch was a success and was the first time that I discovered my gift of gab. This day you might say, was the first precursor to my first “public speaking engagement.”

Thank you dear God for always stirring me in the right direction. November has just nominated itself as the best month for me!

the one

2011-10-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

my dream vacation

2011-10-10T20:15:00.001-07:00

Travel has become such an integral part of my life. I find great joy in making travel memories and meeting people who share the same passion as I do. In the recent years, I have been fortunate to have had the opportunity to visit most places I dreamed of visiting. From the blue waters of Hawaii to the greatest concentration of glacial ice in Alaska to the eastern coast of Canada where the sinking of the liner "Titanic" in her maiden voyage happened almost a century ago, to the big Apple and a lot more. Just recently, I had the chance to travel to Europe for the first time.

The ancient civilizations of Greece, Turkey and israel have given me wisdom about different cultures. But it is the vatican that has captured my heart and has made me want to explore Italy further. It was my first and certainly won't be the last.

Vatican City (Rome,Italy)

Chania(Crete,Greece)

Rhodes, Greece

Jerusalem (Israel)

Sea of Galilee(Israel)

Jordan River(Israel)

Nazareth(Israel)

Kusadasi (Turkey)

Ancient of Ephesus(Turkey)

Turkey

Athens, Greece

Athens, Greece

Athens, Greece

Sicily (Palermo, Italy)

Naples, Italy

Sorrento, Italy

my dream vacation

2011-10-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

Travel has become such an integral part of my life. I find great joy in making travel memories and meeting people who share the same passion as I do. In the recent years, I have been fortunate to have had the opportunity to visit most places I dreamed of visiting. From the blue waters of Hawaii, to the greatest concentration of glacial ice in Alaska, to the eastern coast of Canada (Halifax, Nova Scotia) where the sinking of the liner "Titanic" in her maiden voyage happened almost a century ago, to the big Apple and a lot more. Just recently, I had the chance to travel to Europe for the first time.

The ancient civilizations of Greece, Turkey and Israel have given me wisdom about different cultures. But it's the vatican that has captured my heart and has made me want to explore Italy further. It's my first and certainly won't be the last.

These two places will make me the happeiest. Spero di vederti presto Venice.... A bientot Paris....

Vatican City (Rome,Italy)

Chania(Crete,Greece)

Rhodes, Greece

Jerusalem (Israel)

Sea of Galilee(Israel)

Jordan River(Israel)

Nazareth(Israel)

Kusadasi (Turkey)

Ancient of Ephesus(Turkey)

Turkey

Athens, Greece

Athens, Greece

Athens, Greece

Sicily (Palermo, Italy)

Naples, Italy

Sorrento, Italy

manic monday

2011-08-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

What a short weekend. Waking up this morning was my first battle of the day. Ahhhh! Work is piling up and the end is nowhere in sight. I've been snowed under with everything lately. For the life of me, I can't, for some reason, keep up with everything despite the rate I am going. Juggling too many things at one time, I guess. It is driving me nuts! Thanks to you, dear maple, for keeping me abreast of the latest developments. Thank you for so many things. Good things come to those who wait. :)

My dear twin, I miss you too sweetie! I have not forgotten you. As promised, I will see you as soon as I get a chance to break away from work. Behave yourself, missy. :) I don't do fb as much as you know but when I do, I look at things and my goodness, you surely grace their world with your presence. ;)

Anyways, I am just venting. Exhaustion is killing me but I won't have it any other way. It comes with the territory. I just rant sometimes to let my frustrations out. The only consolation is that my much anticipated VL is coming up in a few weeks. My anxiety has heightened to a level that is pretty much uncontrollable right now. I am so excited!

Where to next? Planning my trip to dream land. Yay!

143

2011-08-23T02:41:00.000-07:00

Woke up in the middle of the night. First thing that comes to mind is you. It's almost scary...

RnR

2011-08-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

Watching the world markets crash drive the big bosses crazy but wow, gold hits all-time high of $1855! Should I or should I not? Dang, it's very tempting! I have some serious thinking to do. A little bird is telling me now is the best time. But I am still on the fence. I do not know what I want but I am ceratin about what I DON'T want. Ahhhh!! Gotta think. I think i'm gonna slack off today. it's the last day of the work week anyways. Time for some RnR. One more month!!

tgis!

2011-08-14T06:37:00.000-07:00

Ouch! My head hurts. Dang it! I shouldn't have done it. But that was fun! It's worth all the pain I'm in right now. Too much partying is never a good thing. Maybe I should stay home and forget about the wedding later tonight.... NOT! I don't know how long I'd live peacefully if I do that. Anyways, got a wake up call at 5 am(human alarm clock is the next best thing let me tell you). It did wake me up and didn't get a chance to hit the snooze. Hit the treadmill for 30 mins which killed me by the way. I have to get back in shape before "the day". That said, I have to do some crunches before I jump in the shower. Ciao!

a night owl or an early bird?

2011-08-05T03:37:00.000-07:00

Not a happy camper here. My phone has been ringing off the hook. Been up for almost 24 hours. My day is not over yet and the next one is about to start. Argh! Stock market slumped and we, by all means, took a hit. I took a calculated risk and we are hoping they would honor what was agreed upon. A big chunk of money is at stake. Damn! This whole thing really puts me on edge. Coming up with an intelligent decision while working under pressure is the most gut-wrenching feeling I've ever had. I do not want to be in that position ever again. Now, trying to get some sleep is work and is draining my energy. I need all the help I can get for today's meeting. My stomach is churning. Are they going to chew me out? I hope not. What can I say. Pressure at its finest.

Oh, one more thing. I know I should rise above this, but it aggravates the crap out of me. Where else can I vent but here. Ever felt overly frustrated that someone WILL NOT leave you alone, no matter what you're doing? You know, no matter how you try to be nice, people will always have something negative to say about you. ALWAYS. Every mistake one makes seem magnified ten times over. You know why they are doing that right? To justify what they thought of and still think of you. I had a firsthand experience early this week. That's when I realize the importance of having an ally. They sure watch your back.

Anyways, I have a problem employee. One that is so good at manipulating people. Playing the victim is just one of her many games. One time I called her on it and she pulled the race card on me. I did not know how to address that one because I did not see it coming. I tried to work with her thinking that maybe she needs some TLC. I even stuck my neck out for her at one point. Everybody deserves a second chance. That's how I look at things. But see, when sh*t hits the fan, I have to do some damage control. What do I get in return? HEADACHE. This ungrateful bitch is really pushing my buttons. She second-guesses me all the time as if I report to her (I felt like reminding her that she reports to me and I happen to be her manager, the one she refers to as the dragon lady). She cannot wait for me to drop the ball so she can throw me under the bus. Isn't it nice of her? Had I not covered my bases, this wicked witch will be telling everyone how I failed miserably. My patience is wearing thin. One more word out of her and she will strike out. I cannot stand it when people smiles at you and talks crap behind your back. Duh! If you think you are such a hard ass then be straightforward and don't hide behind your momma's skirt! For someone who is known for talking out of her rear, she is better served keeping her mouth shut. Not everybody appreciates unsolicited advice. To me, that is overstepping your boundaries. Get the picture? In my humble opinion, maybe she should polish her resume and try her luck somewhere else because she certainly thinks she's been dealt a lot of bad cards in the past. Not my fault really but why take it out on me? There's only one reason I can think of. This woman does not like my management style. She made some comments before about me being a micro manager. Well, surprise! She does not call the shots. I do. Maybe it should not surprise me. From what I have heard, she did not get along with any of the managers she worked for before me. She is set in her ways and nothing will change that. What a life eh?

Weekend is almost here. I should let it flow off me like water off a duck's back. Have a great weekend blogosphere!

what to do?

2011-08-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

Argh! My time is running out! Can I have an extension?? It took me a while to puzzle this out. Something is within your reach. The dream you will give up everything for. But having it will potentially wreak havoc in your life. Would it be, for lack of a better word, self - flagellation looking the other way knowing how incomplete and empty you will feel when it is gone? I am willing to take my chances but there’s one thing that stops me. “The want of a thing is perplexing enough without discovering what’s behind it but actually having it is unbearable.” Without a doubt, life is a bitch and it’s got a lot of sisters..

sana

2011-07-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

Morning bb! I felt like pampering myself this morning, so I slept in. Waking up this late on a Saturday is a rare commodity for me these days. I no longer have the luxury of lounging around the house after work either due to the fact that my job doesn't end at 5pm anymore. The amount of work I get done dictates what time I turn in for the night. I so miss my alone time with Lexie. My poor pooch, I woke up to him trying to snuggle with mommy.

Anyways, a friend of mine had me listen to this song while having a karaoke party last night. She said I should be singing it. Should I? lol I didn't like it at first but it actually grew on me. I ended up humming the song in the shower today. Listen.

Thank God the storm is over. Thanks for being my rock Maple Leaf! Pinay princess, eh? I don't know about that. How in the world did I fit that description? It's not going to be easy (the story of my life, well, let's just say nothing comes easy for me) but I am ready. How to go about doing it is the wild card. Wish me luck!

the way I am

2011-07-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

Me? Stoic? I don’t understand why people perceive me as such. Yeah, I keep things bottled up inside. Only because I do not want to burden people with my problems. My SIL brought this to my attention during a conversation over dinner last night. Although I laughed at her comment, it did hurt. It struck a chord with me. Tell you the truth, it is not the first time I‘ve heard people say that about me.

“Some people are strong because they know what it's like to be weak, and keep their guard up because they know what it's like to cry in their sleep. “ ------ I swore I will let no one get me down. I hope this explains the way I am.

Dream vacation booked!

2011-07-20T19:39:00.000-07:00

Nothing could have prepared me for what I have heard this morning. Got a call while in a meeting and I was told that my wish is granted. They have everything planned and booked. Including making an appointment with the consulate for my interview seven weeks from now. Apparently, I need a Schengen visa for this trip. If they were planning to surprise me, they did a heck of a job because I am! What a way to surprise someone, eh? I am stunned and grateful. I'm just glad that we are not going to spend a lot of hours at sea. There are eight port of calls on this four-country tour! Now the count down begins. Al presto Italia!

i am seeing red flags!

2011-07-20T12:45:00.001-07:00

Holy crap! I didn't know friendster was gone. I can't remember the last time I checked my fs account. No wonder i've been barraged with crazy messages on facebook by my crazy peeps. I feel so disconnected from the world now that I have lost all of my contacts. Chos! Just being overly dramatic here. I've always had a good relationship with FS. But it's time to move on. I am now married to facebook!

Speaking of which, what would you think when out of nowhere, someone from some far off place who talks and looks like someone you know, contacted you and asked if you can be friends? Keep in mind, you have no mutual friends. This person is too good to be true. Makes me wonder what the hidden agenda is. Creepy! I am seeing red flags! Are my peeps playing pranks on me? If they are, all hell will break loose.

Never say never!

2011-07-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

So I had lunch with one of the girls yesterday. After a week of planning to see each other it finally happened. You know, when girls get together after not seeing each other for quite sometime, they usually notice what’s new with one or the other. Me being a keen observer noticed something different about her. While we were eating, she seemed like she wanted to tell me something and looked at me a certain way which really put me off my stride. And I thought "what crazy, cracked out shenanigans did you get yourself into, woman!" She was so fidgety for some reason. She may have gotten good at evading questions, but after my repeated prodding, she finally let the cat out of the bag. She is getting married in November! Damn, I almost choked on my food. I am in awe of her exceptionally outstanding tight-lipped behavior. We had no idea she’s engaged! Her explanation for keeping it a secret is that she will be the laughing stock of the neighbourhood. I understand where she's coming from really. She used to always say “Marriage is not for me. Why would I want to complicate my life?" And my goodness, did she eat her words. Never say never girlfriend! :D

So happy for her and can't wait to see her walk down the aisle.

Two weddings before the year ends. Two bachelorette party. And a shopping spree!

a wild goose chase

2011-07-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted. Hungry. And in pain. My head is spinning and my feet are killing me! In spite of all that, I still have some energy left to do my before-bed-time routine. Reason is, I am on cloud nine! Finally, after leading us willfully and intentionally on a wild goose chase, I got my very first major account! They signed the contract without a hitch! Yeah!!! It's my first and certainly won't be the last. I am so elated. One down, many more to go. As one of the other managers put it, it was a "purposeless endeavor". I guess she's wrong about that because I have the signed documents in front of me with $$$$$ written all over it. Had I thrown in the towel on that one, it would have been the first time in this new job that somebody had forced me to quit. Thank God I mastered the art of rolling with the punches. I managed to put on a great show. Mind you, they put my patience and tolerance to the test. It's all worth it though. Now I got a taste of what my people do on a day-to-day basis. Truth be told, managing the operation is a challenge and finding your footing can be very difficult especially when you are starting out on a new job. Needless to say, I have to prove myself all over again. I don't want to over promise and under deliver but setting goals and meeting them will level out the playing field. I would assume that the office politics has just begun and it could only get hotter and more exciting. That gives me an adrenaline rush. ;)

Advanced happy 4th!

2011-06-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

Even at the last minute, the bonsai tried to accommodate this crazy girl’s whim. Just when I thought I have gotten good at masking my emotions, my eyes gave me away. Isn't it nice? After three years, moi is leaving her cubicle behind. Looking at my empty desk for the last time and seeing all their faces didn’t help at all. Dang it! Help! My mascara smudges! The party hasn’t even started yet.

I don’t need a DUI but nothing that a frozen, blue margarita can’t fix. For the first time in a long time, Hello Sin City!!!

Somebody will “fine” me when she reads this so might as well say my piece now. I am not driving sweetie. Not when I am tipsy… The girls agreed to celebrate fourth of July by declaring four days of independence from work starting today. That said, they’re gonna get trashed! Sounds like fun.

Advanced happy 4th everyone!

few more days

2011-06-26T13:01:00.001-07:00

It's almost unheard of when I sit down, read the newspaper and just laze around the house on the weekends. But here I am, I get to do it today! At least half of today anyway. My mind is clear and I feel relaxed. It's my final week next week and I am trying to take advantage of the time I have left with my friends. I hate goodbyes. But I guess it's inevitable. Hopefully I won't shed a single tear when we bid each other goodbye. It's not like we're not gonna see each other again but then, planning something like our usual after-work-night-out would be really hard considering our different schedules. I already had a taste of my soon-to-be environment. Number-crunching and client calls baby! For some reason, it makes me sweat when I think about it, but, by the same token, I get excited about what's coming. God, help me stay focused on my goals. You paved the way for this to happen. Please take my hand and lead the way.. I owe YOU all these. And to my angel. Speaking of which, you are one of life's greatest things. Wherever life takes me, I know I will be A-okay. 'Cause you are the torch that will light the way through the darkest times in my life. Thank you for so many things---- For being such a great part of my crazy life.. For my second chance at it.. For the new me.. Thank you, angel.

time for a change

2011-06-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

To think that I was planning on taking some PTOs in the coming months, another opportunity presented itself. It goes without saying I have to change my course of action.

I am so far from perfect. But I guess my flaws define me. As much as the things I have done right define me. It is my ying to my yang that makes me what I am. And to be given another shot at this challenge after shying away from it for quite some time now, I am speechless. I am grateful beyond description. It was offered to me before but after weighing my options, I chose to look the other way. I think I was not ready to take on more responsibility. Having a limited knowledge in business administration and unsure of what I can bring to the table, I was not in the position to accept the offer. But that was THEN. And this is NOW. It is time to explore another avenue!

I used to get rattled when deadlines were just around the corner. It's because I didn’t know how to manage my time. God knows how many times I pounded my head on the wall before I eventually got the hang of it. As I begin this new adventure I am excited about what lies ahead. It is more than meeting deadlines under pressure. It is all about meeting and doing business with people. It is all about the stock market.... all about making money!

Under the existing circumstances, the expectation is high. And I have to deliver. The pressure is on but it is to be expected. I realized there is no formula nor a time frame when to be ready. One negates the possibility of failing by directing their work toward a goal. And mine is to perform well and do what is expected of me. There’s so much more I need to know. The more I learn, the more I grow. If they have faith in me, who am I to, again, turn my back on this chance to improve myself. With my mentor’s unwavering support, I am now ready to face my biggest fear. Goodness gracious, being nervous really heightens my senses and keep me in check. It’s a long shot but I am hoping to make them and myself a $$$$$$$ portfolio before it’s over. Goodluck to the crazy goose!

my green rose

2011-05-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

Good morning sunshine! What a beautiful day. I thought I was going to wake up on the wrong side of the bed being that I got a phone call at 3 am this morning, which I don’t mind ‘cause I happen to have so many roles in life, but I guess I was wrong.

My weekends are usually crazy and today is no different from the others. I might be all wet on this one but I can smell trouble from where I am sitting. Why am I a crazy people magnet? What did I do wrong to deserve these? Joke!! Just kidding peeps! Although I have to admit, being sane in my friends ’ “insane world” is what I thought of whenever I’m with them. And I won’t dare say anything or I won’t hear the end of it.

Anyways, I was watching my favorite telenovela last night when I got all choked up upon hearing something along the lines of

“ kapalaran ko ang ibigin ka… kasama dun ang tuwa at dusa…”

Dang! How sweet! I never thought I’ll hear myself say this but I can relate to this song. I once loved sincerely, madly and deeply...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Am I a taurean?

2011-05-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

Do I believe blindly in traits associated with zodiac signs? No, I don’t. But according to the astrological calendar, I am a taurean. Let’s see what they have to say about my zodiac sign.

When you come across a Taurus female, the first thing you will notice about her is her undefeatable emotional strength. She is capable of handling the severest of problems, without shedding even a single tear. She has the infamous Taurus temper, but it is seldom displayed. At least not until the provocation is too much to digest. She is as feminine as any other female, without the unnecessary tantrums. A Taurus woman has no desire of dominating her husband. She will let him handle the reins, in fact this is what she secretly desires.

A Taurus woman wants a real man, who can make her proud of himself as much as she is proud of herself. However, if he fails in his role, she will take the control in her own hands. Neither will she act like a mewing kitten, nor like a roaring lioness. She is independent and has a mind of her own, but she does not want to dominate in the relationship. Taurean women do not see social status while making their friends. They want to be friends with people who do not hide their true nature and come across as they really are.

Their friends may be a little weird, but they will not be phonies or hypocrites. A Taurus girl doesn't fight with people she dislikes, she simply ignores them and becomes indifferent to their presence. However, she will be loyal to her true friends and they will remain with her throughout her life. In return, she will expect them to stand by her when she needs them. A Taurean woman also gets jealous, but only if you exceed the limits of casual flirtation. Everything has a limit and this also does. It's better not to provoke her anger or you will be very sorry.

She is brainy, but not too much interested in intellectual subjects. She is balanced in her approach and you will hardly see her in a restless disposition. A Taurean girl hates anything artificial, be the flowers in her vase or the friends in her life. She has to feel the fragrance of real roses and the presence of real people. The beauty of Mother Nature especially pleases her.

Ugliness of any kind makes her miserable and repulsive. She loves to be amidst colorful surroundings, like gardens blooming with flowers. A Taurean female has a good taste, so please be very careful before taking her out. She is a very good cook herself and you will always be treated to excellent homemade food. She is also very much interested in the art forms, like painting. She is a tomboy at heart and will enjoy many guy-things like horse riding, going on a roller coaster ride, fishing, etc.

All this makes her feel close to nature. She dresses simply, yet elegantly and her fabrics are always feather-soft. Taurus female is very strong and above the usual female insecurities. However, she demands loyalty and will never compromise in this area. She is beyond hypocrisy and has an undemanding and easy-going manner. She wants her man to take her side, especially in public. If he contradicts her in front of other people, expect the temperature to reach beyond the boiling point.

When pushed too far, she loses her cool demeanor quickly. Taurus women make excellent mothers, except for the fact that they cannot tolerate disobedience or defiance in kids. Laziness and carelessness also makes them angry. Otherwise, they will be more of a friend to their children than the typical mommies. A Taurus woman will also teach the kids how to be strong and will protect them from the big bad outside world. She never shirks from or whines about her responsibilities. Her man will be expected to do the same.

She can also bear endless pain and stress, without complaining for a single minute. She is good with finances and knows how to maintain quality in a reasonable budget. She is a very good host and will be there to help her man in any and every way she can. A Taurean woman will care for you when you are ill, will back you in your new business venture and let you take over the control of the home. And, you will always be treated to a warm, cozy home when you come back from office!

Very well put! Some of the things mentioned above makes me smile. Reason is, I have some of the qualities in me. Bull headed for one. I am not very confrontational but when confronted with a situation in which someone tries to put me on the defensive, or make a fool out of me, then I let them have it. Mind you, I don't argue just for the heck of it. To me, it's a waste of time and energy. I lose my cool when the one I'm arguing with goes off on a tangent when starting to lose an argument. But I always try to be tactful with all my might. I believe in the quality of being magnanimous. I am practical in my thinking and do not feel the need to indulge in mental gymnastics except when the situation calls for it. Intelligent conversation stimulates my mind though. Am I jealous? Not so much. Only when my man gives me a reason to. Even then, I try not to show it. Sometimes it shows. And when that happens I will sink my claws into their game and absolutely nothing is going to stop me. We are not talking about fist fight here. I am a 92 lb woman and God knows what will happen if I get into a brawling match with someone twice my size. Things like such is way out of my league. I will be on the losing end. Pain threshold? Depends on the kind of pain. Physical pain? My tolerance is pretty low. Emotional stress/pain? I would say it's up there. Been to hell and back. Have I hit rock bottom yet? More than once and got through it alive. Nothing can faze me. As a friend, I am very loyal. Anyone dear to me, I hold them close to my chest. I will go the extra mile for them. That sometimes work to my disadvantage. I am often misunderstood. I do not want to go into details but yeah. As a partner, I am very supportive. I will stay in the background and let my man shine. But that doesn’t mean I will walk in his shadows. I also like "guy-things". Gun shooting lessons and martial arts believe it or not. And when I think about the finer things in life, one thing that comes to mind is uhm sexy, petite, crazy woman. One thing that guys sure appreciate. Am I gay? Definitely not. But when I see someone like I described I would certainly turn my head and stare at her. I hope it's not crossing the line because I don't want to get slapped in the face. I have a much better appreciation for someone who takes care of her/himself and exudes confidence. Have I ever been asked out on a date by a woman? Yes. On more than one occassion. I cannot describe the feeling but it was flattering let me tell you. One more thing, my all time favorite, the girl's bestfriend. That's something I will always fancy. As a mother? The maternal instinct has not kicked in yet. I don't know what I am capable of doing to raise and protect my child. But one thing I know is for sure. I will love my baby to death and will shield her from anything. Just like the way I love and protect my babies now and even more.

Now, am I a taurean? Maybe... to an extent...

keep walking

2011-05-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

Everytime I start doubting myself, I always think about this quote.

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world is not all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But, it's not how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you have to be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you are not where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that's not you. You're better than that!"

Rocky Balboa movie

It is the one I live by. To you best, hang in there. It's easier said than done but practice what you preach. Everything will be okay. You've got the ace. Just learn to play your cards right. And hey, you got me... your bff ;)

Have a wonderful life in Argentina!

gotta pick one or the other

2011-03-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me this question yesterday.

Him: Who would you choose? The one you love... or the one you need? And why?

My Answer: It's a no-brainer. Without hesitation, I will choose the one I LOVE, against all odds. Because he's all I NEED..

Lord have mercy...

2011-03-16T16:05:00.001-07:00

I was horrified by the news. This tragedy makes everything I complain about so miniscule. I’d choose injured toe, lack of sleep, hyper-active puppies (they are the ones that really drain my energy) a demanding job and a nagging boss over earthquake, nuclear meltdowns and tsunami any day. My heart cries out to everybody affected by this tragedy. I read the fatalities have reached 5600+ and many are still missing.

With everything that’s happening around us – financial collapse, earthquakes, floods, tsunamis, middle east protests – makes one think that the end of the world is coming soon. I don’t really want to think about it. The current situation is really depressing as it is and I don't see how anybody can precisely tell the exact date when the world will come to an end. I believe it will happen sometime, but not anytime soon, I hope. Goodness! I haven’t done a lot of great things in my lifetime yet.

Lord, let your grace and mercy be upon us.

I hope Japan and its people can recover quickly.

On a lighter note, I recently got a toy. Dream come true I should say. But for someone who looks at the price tag of anything she buys, the price almost gave me a heart attack. It was more than what I was willing to spend but just another look at it made me close my eyes and bought it. Soooo happy!! There's nothing wrong with pampering yourself, within reason. You can't put a price on happiness. Charooottt!! LOL Do I sound like I am trying to justify what I did? What can I say, I am the queen of excuses. ;) Seriously, my spending is getting out of whack. I have to nip it in the bud before I break my bank.

Anyways, below are the pictures of my recent escapades. My twin's visit and the three-day conference I attended a couple of weeks ago.

There's the sutil. She's my twin....

How can I best describe her? She is persistent(whatever she wants, she gets, no matter the cost), super sweet and very loving(in the deepest and most profound sense of the word). She can turn your world upside down(I am a hundred and one percent sure. Beautiful inside and out. Very smart. I can talk to her about anything. I hate it when people BS me and she's one of the few who calls a spade a spade. Not easily intimidated and can hold her ground. Brutally honest. She can look me in the eye and tell me I am wrong. And the biggest BRAT ever!!!! It doesn't really surprise me. She is the baby of the family. Need I say more? I love her dearly and will do anything for this girl. I am not a very trusting person. I keep people at arms length just because i've been burned many times. Needless to say, she earned my trust. She is my sister from a different mother. :)

The next one is Chris.

He is an enigma. As a strong democrat, I don't understand his fascination with guns. In fact, he's got a collection. He taught me everything I know about it. He is my favorite among our friends. He's a straight arrow. Never sugarcoats anything. If I want an honest opinion, I talk to him. He's my go-to guy. Him and his wife are just the greatest.

And this is Tracy.

He's my "D.A.D" He acts like one so I treat him like one. Even though he calls me all kinds of name - Tiny, little goosey, little Gracey, crabby goose - I can't stay mad at the guy. I know he's got my best interest at heart. During my trying times he was one of those people who came and talk some sense to me. Trying to get out of a rut is never easy but I did it because I have a great support system and Trace(as I fondly call him) is one of them. I am forever indebted and grateful to this man I call my Dad.

And this one is Rick.

I don't know much about him but according to J, every time he sees him, he would always tell him to say hi to me. When we went to Tracy's birthday last year, him and his friends were sitting behind us. Out of nowhere he came up to us and said "I always tell J to say hi to you every time I see him". We talked for a bit and that's when I learned that his wife of 15 years is a Filipina. Me and his wife hit it off right away. Schedule permitting, they will visit the Philippines again one day and spend a week in the province where his wife grew up which happens to be my birth place! I couldn't believe it! I am half bicolana and half samarina. Though I grew up in Bicol, I fluently speak in Waray. Anyways, we're going to have dinner at their house one of these days and will cook some of my favorite food. She's a good cook according to Rick. Maybe i'll learn some of her recipe and put my own twist when I make it at home. That's one thing we have in common. We both love to cook. I don't know how to bake but she does. It is not my cup of tea but it won't hurt if I explore it too, would it?

Then there's Gloria. My momma grizzly..

I will miss her big time. She will retire in June. We only see each other twice a year because she lives in Hawaii. I remember the first time we met. It was at a company party five years ago. Since I didn't know a whole lot of people, I was just sitting in one corner doing my own thing. She came up to me and introduced herself as the branch manager of the Hawaii branch. There's nothing like rubbing elbows with the big wigs and their spouses but at that time, I was not the type who would extend myself and engage in a conversation. She encouraged me to come out of my shell. That I have to get used to the idea of seeing these people in any company event. True enough, they are the same circle that I encounter every time. Beating shyness in the business world is one thing I had to learn the hard way. But thanks to her, she was my constant date.

and more pics...

thank goodness!

2011-02-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

Few more days (no pun intended), the crazy goose will be going away for a few days. I sorely need a breather. Work makes me cringe and seriously, I can’t do much of anything anymore. Exhaustion is driving me over the edge. To make it worse, my boss dropped a bomb on me this morning. Ahhhhhh!!! First thing in the morning man! You gotta be kidding me! I mean, are you for real?? It took me a moment to process it but I will do what I have to do. Even on a short notice. How do you maintain grace under pressure? I know he is trying to get a reaction out of me but I am not going to give him the satisfaction. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s just one of his many antics. I thought holding grudges is no longer a part of my emotional repertoire but I am, once again, proven wrong. I will make an exception just this once. I will hold it against him! Lol… just kidding! He flies off the handle over nothing from time to time and can be a real pain in the A** but overall, he’s a good boss.

Dang, my body is still sore from doing exercise (thanks to my teacher). He is really pushing me to my limit. I am thinking about giving it a rest but then again, I will just be setting myself back. I worked so hard to get to this point and so far, I am happy with the results.

And now, I am craving for some french fries (yup, french fries for breakfast ;). I think I can afford the calories but giving in to my cravings will only defeat the purpose of exercising. Darn it! If only I can tell my taste buds to crave for something healthy. I think I know what I want. Something REALLY healthy. Few more months ;)

i love you, pooh bear

2011-02-26T10:19:00.000-08:00

Why???

2011-02-18T08:46:00.001-08:00

Flippin' hilarious! My tummy still hurts from laughing so hard. Thanks boss!

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

please consider the environment before printing this email

__________ At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

__________ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

__________ When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

__________ A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .

__________ A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

__________ A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

__________ Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

__________ Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

__________ If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

__________ Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

__________ First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

__________ "A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for Patience for his moods.. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"

__________ AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!! Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

Me Enamore De Ti

2011-01-29T12:45:00.000-08:00

When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I need you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a man...

fond memories

2011-01-28T12:57:00.000-08:00

Truly, HE breaks you to make you. Now I understand why things happened which at that time was beyond my comprehension.

I can’t remember the last time I spent countless hours on the phone. Over the last few days, I constantly called ATLAS (Manila branch) and my mom about the box I shipped last November. Things were not going as expected. I was on edge and will stop at nothing to get some answers. And I am telling you, I had been reasonable and patient enough to wait almost two months before I finally just blew my stack. After sending ATLAS management a very nice letter, I got a call from my dad telling me that these people got the green light from their office here to release the box. I was, of course, ecstatic that my box will finally reach its destination. But I am not so happy with the phone calls I made. I am actually expecting a HUGE bill this month.

Few days ago, I got another phone call from my mom. But it wasn’t about the package. She and my dad flew to the province to check on my property. And while there, they bumped into my godfather, my Kuya Abe. They haven’t seen each other in way too long. And missing each other’s company is an understatement. Long story short, they went out and reminisced about the old times.

Getting back to what I was saying, my mom sounded a little chirpy. I could tell she was happy as a lark for some reason. Maybe she had one drink too many ‘cause it didn’t sound like my mother. In a fainted voice she said “Somebody wants to talk to you.” It was my Kuya Abe whom I havent’ spoken to in years. Over the course of our entire conversation, he mentioned that somebody wants to say hi. Nonchalantly I said, “Okay, put her on.” I was expecting his youngest sister ‘cause we exchanged messages on facebook just recently. Instead, a man’s voice rang in my ears, “Maya,” it echoed with power. I was dumbfounded. Upon hearing my pet name, tears uncontrollably streamed down my face out of so much guilt. In all certainty, no comfort I can remember when the pain comes in like waves. My senses of reality lost in emotion. There’s only one person who calls me Maya. I uttered his name. He said “Yes, it’s me” and asked how I was. It was my shock of a lifetime. After 16 years, half way across the globe, we talked for the first time. I don’t know how I managed to maintain my composure. I was pretty shaken up to say the least. I had some reservations about engaging in a lengthy conversation with him but then again I knew it was the right time to clear the air. I owe him an explanation. I’ve been asked the question I dreaded to answer. Why at his expense? The whole experience was so surreal. Then in a moment, I was quiet. I didn’t know how to answer his question. And if I did, would he understand. Memories came rushing back as I listen to him talk about things that meant so much to me over the years, ones I had forgotten all about. As much as I love my family, I resent the fact that they made me choose. In a pursuit of a degree, I had to give up everything. But then it all worked out for the best.

Growing up, I didn’t have anybody to cling on to. I was taught to be self sufficient. Do things on my own. Walk a straight line because the younger ones look up to me. My dad raised us with an iron hand. Though he never laid a finger on any of his kids, he put the fear of God in us. As the eldest, I knew what’s expected of me. I lived a sheltered life. Then came my kuya/confidante/bestfriend/worst critic/partner in crime/older brother/my knight in shining armour.

We had a rough start. He loves to ruffle my feathers and I hated him for it. We were not quite on the same wavelenghths, which made it more difficult to like each other. And he’s four years my senior besides! But with our parents’ urging, we learned to get along and eventually became friends. He taught me how to ride a bike, swim, climb trees. Whenever I join any quiz bee in high school, he’s the first to cheer me on. The one who patiently waited for me every cheer leading practice. We even made a pact. Whoever gets married first will name their first child after the other. You know, kids. We thought we have it all figured out.

There are fun things to do at sleepovers. With my dad? Forget about it. Other than my bff Cielo's house, I was never allowed to spend the night at some of my friends’. Strange as it was, whenever my Kuya Abe (his oldest brother) asked my mom and my dad if we can spend the night at their house, my parents won’t even bat an eyelash. They’d let us go for as long as he and his older sisters were there baby sitting. Otherwise, there’s no talking my dad into it. They were and still are our closest family friend. Sure, things happened in the past that somehow tarnished the relationship but it’s nothing major compared to the friendship they shared over the years. My parents and his share a common bond.

In 1995, right after I graduated high school, I moved to Manila to pursue my degree. He looked at everything as his competition. Be it my projects, schoolmates, schedule. It took a toll on me. That’s when things got ugly. As hard as it was, I stopped communicating with every single one of them. Including Kuya Abe. The first three years was okay. I worked and attended school at the same time. Being a full time student while working 5 hours a day after school 6 days a week was no easy task. I didn’t have time to do my own thing, let alone go out on a date. My last year in college was the pits. He then started communicating with me again but all his efforts went in vain. Feasibility study, field trips and on-the-job training all in one semester kept me busy as hell. I was physically and mentally drained. Year 2000, I earned my degree while he’s working abroad. Or so I thought. On the day of my graduation, he came home but we didn’t see each other. It was my decision to end the friendship. No picking back up where we left off. It’s in my nature to forgive, but I don’t forget. Three years later, he got married and Princess May was born. A year after, I met my one great love.

I would say I had wonderful memories with him and his family that will probably stick with me until the end of my days. I know I did him wrong. But it’s never too late and I am not too proud to say I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

ikaw lang

2011-01-28T08:08:00.000-08:00

I don't know what the future holds. But I am certain that you are forever etched in my heart... you had me at hello :)

i love you

2011-01-04T20:37:00.001-08:00

Lyrics | Shawn Colvin - Never Saw Blue Like That lyrics

all I can say is thank you

2010-12-23T16:29:00.001-08:00

Wow, I'm still in a daze. I can't wrap my brain around it but I must have done something right to deserve what I got. Boss, you're the best!!! One of the most generous person I know. I never would have expected it especially from you whom I challenge most of the time. Thank you so much for the cookies... and for the fat christmas gift (or token of appreciation as you put it). I am going to make a copy of the check and post it on my wall. I probably won't spend it even though my hands are itching to go buy a new coach purse. Four of them! :)

Seriously, I never lose track of everything you have done for me and my team. No matter how shitty my day is at work you always come up with something to change my mood. Truly, a little bit of appreciation goes a long way. I will go the distance for anyone who shows me that.

Sir George, thanks for being the "positive energy" in my life and for supporting me in all my endeavors. I had the fortunate experience of being mentored by you who spent countless hours of time encouraging, instilling and motivating me to go beyond the norm. I was taught the value of a job well done. You instilled and helped to develop leadership skills necessary for my future. You challenged me to expand my thinking beyond average and strive for the best. Thanks for taking a chance on me... Thank you for hardwork and great example! And most of all, thank you for the tangible gift :p

Thank you God for a great 2010!

2010-12-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

...then in a moment I was deliriously happy -- and still am.

Yesterday upon arriving home from work, I actually stood in the middle of my bedroom and shouted "thank you God for this wonderful life!"

I have recently made some changes in my life. I have made some decisions which hurt myself and others around me. And I had been in doubt about whether or not these choices were for the best. I had been tearing myself apart for awhile, unsure of what I wanted, and where I wanted to go with my life. I thought hard about this. I closed my eyes, and ignored the beautiful imagery. Without too much thought I realized my answers. I had made choices that hurt me and others. But the choices were the best for me. I was doing what I should be doing. I was where I NEEDED to be. Everything was going exactly how it should be. Hearing myself say this was perfect. It was absolutely perfect. I had never felt such a strong sense of inner peace as I did at that moment. Everything was right with the world, and nothing could destroy that.

I had dinner with friends last night. It's been a while since we did something after work. I felt as though I was able to bond with them in ways I never could before. It was like my normal hang out group, but I was viewing it in a whole new light. A friend asked me if I was okay. I simply nodded my head and smiled. The rest of the night was nothing spectacular. Kate drew some pictures that we looked at and I thought were brilliant. She used math that I didn’t think she could possibly understand, and she wrote poetry which moved me. I pretty much just sat and stared. I was in my perfect world, and nothing could touch me.

I don’t even know where to begin. This time there's no fear. All the confusion and the terror was replaced with tranquility and understanding. The problems I had been facing were some of the most difficult I had ever faced. Last night's prayer provided me with the answers I sorely needed. It helped me to relax and accept all that’s occurred around me. All my ups and downs make me more human each and everyday of my life. I will keep on moving and won't look back. Whatever life throws at me, I know I can handle it. Thank you God for a great 2010!

my favorite season of the year

2010-12-21T20:37:00.000-08:00

Some say that this something is a "White Christmas". Others claim that Christmas pudding, Christmas cakes and all the traditional food that is normally associated with the festive season is what makes this "The most wonderful time of the year". For me, personally, what makes Christmas special is the fact that during this season everything seems to be nicer, better, more acceptable....in a few words, more positive.

However, we must keep in mind that Christmas is not all about presents, parties and fun. At this time of the year we should also think of those who will not be home for Christmas, like friends or family members who are working in different countries far away. I know it's hard, but when you're having fun, it is also important to remember that there's a world outside your window in which people do not even know that it's Christmas time!

Then...once the Christmas spirit starts wearing off, we start preparing ourselves for the New Year. So many hopes....so many pledges....so many expectations! But what is 2011 really going to be all about?

In all honesty, no one can answer this question, but let's be realistic. It will very likely be just like any other year before it - with its ups and downs, with its challenges and aspirations...as many would say...a "normal" year. However, even if we are aware of all these, most of us, will still have long chats over never-ending New Year's Day family lunches or at Christmas meals and staff parties during which we promise the human race that we are indeed going to try to make the world a better place...starting next year! At least I definitely cannot help it. Despite knowing that such guarantees are way too ambitious for any human being, one still finds some kind of comfort and inner peace when making resolutions.

Something about Christmas time...makes you wish it was Christmas every day!

Since this is MY blog site, I don't have to be "politically correct" and can say whatever the heck I want. May we all experience the joy of the holiday season..

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

just because..

2010-12-17T21:23:00.000-08:00

Because once upon a time, we were best friends. And, yes, there's been a lot of bad stuff in between. But none of that matters right now, okay? You need help, I'm there. Any time, any place, anywhere. That's the only reason why. Don't fool yourself into thinking that things will go back to the way they were because I already closed that chapter in my life . There's no going back. Don't read into things too much. I'm sorry.

Rest in peace, Mamita. Peace in your heart, Kuya Alex..

2010-12-07T19:00:00.000-08:00

I know my words cannot help much. My thought is with you, I wish I had some answers but I only have questions. You have been so overwhelmed by needlessly tragic events, and I am dumbfounded by what has happened to your mom. No family should have to go through what yours has. And I am so sorry you each have to endure such a loss. You and your family fought the good fight for your mom. You did all that was within your power. Unfortunately, you were up against something that, in today's world, held higher cards. She was indeed fortunate to have you on her side. My most sincere and heartfelt condolences...

Rest in peace, Mamita. Peace in your heart, Kuya Alex..

I'm sorry

2010-12-07T18:31:00.000-08:00

I'm lost for words. How do you compensate when you have hurt someone's feelings? It's eating me alive. Especially now that my friend is going though a difficult time. I'm sorry for everything. I wish there'd been an easier way, but there wasn't.

Bye for now..

2010-11-17T19:08:00.000-08:00

Yeah!!! What a way to end the day. Thank you God! There is nothing I won't do to make it happen.. You truly were my "home" only you know what I mean. 'Til I see you again, my safe haven..

just another day in the life of the little goosey

2010-11-17T14:06:00.000-08:00

I don't mean to sound like a chronic complainer but man oh man, today is just one of those days wherein no matter what I do, I can't seem to make anything work. My day did not start off well to begin with and then I got another deadline to meet. It's like I am being pulled in hundred different directions. Is this the price I have to pay for taking TO? I should not be doing this right now but i need to stop thinking about work for a minute and breath. Then my wonderful boss came to see me and in a smarta** tone said "it comes with the territory, shorty!" As if I don't freakin' know that!! He's got the tone right, but he takes the "smart" out of "smarta**". I can't wait for next year I swear!

On a happier note, J told me last night that they might flip next year. Other than cashing out his stock, it goes without saying that Coffey, him and the CFO will be travelling a lot like in 2008 when they bought off their competitor. He did not go into details about the transformation because he is bound by confidential clause but his planner told me everything. And I like what I saw. :)

Now he's asking for some of my CCs back and offered to help me manage my finances'cause according to him, moi is an impulsive buyer and that I will be making my own plans while he's gone. Well, goodluck handling my finances. I have my own CCs in my name and I can definitely schedule my itinerary for next year. You can count on that. That being said, Barbados and Antigua are at the top of my list. I am keeping my fingers crossed!!

I goofed up!

2010-11-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

WTH!! It's a holiday tomorrow! I thought Veteran's day is next thursday. I goofed up and booked an evening flight. Darn it!!! It's gonna cost me to change flights but I have to bite the bullet. This is what happens when I am juggling too many things at once. I'm not yet into fogeydom, but I am headed that direction. I am not a spring chicken anymore. I am forgetting things. Well, i'd rather get old than die young (just trying to justify what I did ;)

Sissies, thanks for making it a fun night. Thought I got a lot of questions about my last post, I am glad that everything turned out great. I am now working on something for later :)

Somebody asked me "which one is which?" You know, in my effort to be nice to a fault, I often encounter people who somehow oversteps their boundaries. I don't mind them asking questions but when it's below the belt, that's when I put my foot down. I am not going to answer your question just yet. Let your imagination swerve all over like a drunk driver. About my date, your guess is as good as mine ;)

Good Times

2010-11-08T18:48:00.000-08:00

Dang, my eyes are hurting. I could really use a hot shower to wake me up but I think i'm better off doing this now. As promised, here it is sissy Twerl. Just bear with me. Let me gather my thoughts first.

I can't remember the last time I shared a good laugh with friends. With our schedules (my sissies' included), it is almost impossible to set a date for something like last time but we managed to squeeze it in. I had so much fun. Saying goodbye (I am not good at it. I guess my sissy avee can attest to that) is never my favorite part, but i'd much rather have the time I had with these girls. Our pictures speak for itself. Look it!

Happy Weekend Everyone!

2010-11-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

Wow, I am so overwhelmed. Thanks you guys, but I am not going to publish your comments anymore. I already fired off an angry blog. Some have shown remorse and that's enough for me to bury the hatchett. I don't hold grudges.

To my bff Cielo, thanks for watching out for me. I wouldn't have known about it if not because of you. Love you too :) Whatever it is that you told me, i'll take it to my grave. Just don't worry about things beyond your control.

To my sissy girl, thanks for believing in me. I so miss you much too. I think it's what we call "crab mentality". You know what though, I am not going to sweat it. You know why? It's part of what we signed up for. As long as I am not stepping on anyone's toes I will live my life the way I want to live it. They can eat their hearts out for all I care.

And to my angels in disguise (that's what they call themselves even after the hell they put me through), thank you for keeping an eye out. And you're right. This is nothing compared to what i've been through. I've been to hell and back. And I enjoyed every second of it. Masochist? LOL Just kidding. I am just making light of the situation. Seriously, this taught me a lesson.

Ethel, it's good to hear that you own up to your mistakes instead of pointing fingers. That shows character. Everyone makes them, but no one likes confronting them. I am not going to expect some of your friends to man up and do the same thing. They don't have the, excuse my language, balls, to admit their faults. And that's what grinds me. They are just a bunch of brainless jerks. Whatever you guys do, don't stop acting like big babies. 'cause that's what you guys are. BIG BABIES who whine and bitch about anything that doesn't go your way.

Okay. I am getting agitated. I better stop now. I have a busy day and a crazy weekend ahead of me. Can't afford to lose my cool. Happy weekend everyone! Ciao!

my butterfly

2010-11-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

I talked to my counselor yesterday. And i'm glad I did. I am not big on airing dirty laundry. It's really not my style but I made an exception for what we talked about. It really helped me clear my head. I said to myself, I'll get to the bottom of it. But then these people will incessantly throw stones at me if I react to anything and everything they say. What would I gain from berating them? Nothing. Why not take the high road and ignore them completely? I can only focus on so many things. I don't have time for this mickey mouse crap. I've said my piece. Somebody reached out and apologized. End of story.

Speaking of being happy, I was in the car on my way to work and realized that I was bopping my head to the music. Moi was unusually happy :) It hasn't been an easy road to get to this pont.

Happiness is relative. And what makes me happy these days is worth everything. I have to see my butterfly happy for me to have a shot at being happy without even trying. A friend told me this:

"..Sometimes you just have to forget the rules, follow your heart and see where it takes you...Never apologize for saying what you feel, because that's like being sorry for being real...Never regret anything you said or did because at some point it was what you wanted...True strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart.."

To my butterfly, no matter where life takes me to, a part of me will always be with you.. I will always remember the day that I met you.. Thanks for the journey.. And for giving me reasons to smile.. Mahal kita..

dity little scum bag!

2010-10-30T12:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I should blog about it now but I am getting so riled up about this whole thing. Ahhh!!! You dirty little scum bag!!

Okay. This is bothering me BIGTIME I need to get it off my hest. I'm sorry Cielo. You won't call me at four in the morning if you don't want me to address the issue. I know for an absolute fact that what I am about to write will set tongues wagging. I don't give a crap let me tell you. I bit my tongue long enough and i'll be damned if I let it fly this time. No one gets away with murder especially when my name is getting dragged into it. Not on my watch!

Byron Carpio, you little arrogant piece of crap, the hatred that you sow with your friend, Ethel Quizana, you will reap. You come crawling to my friend begging her not to tell me about your "little monkey business" so I won't blog about you and tell people what a hateful creature you really are. Amazingly, you were bewildered as to why this is all happening to you. Because up to this day, you still think you haven't done anything wrong. How can you be so delusional? Now I can confirm that your perversion has indeed addled your brain. And don't you try your little insunuations on me, you facebook perv. I am going to take up the issue of my friend because her entire family has taken a hard stance against you. You and your hater friends. I am posting this for all to see what a depraved excuse for a human being you are, dragging innocent people into your imagined slights. Yes Carpio, whatever idiotic fights you have with other people, you dragged us into it and now you're shocked to see the backlash. Running scared because the evil things you planned to do to me and my friends are happening to you now. Now it's your reputation that's been exposed as tarnished, trying hard, exploitative and cretinous. To call you an ape would be insulting to apes and you have your friend Quizana to thank for that. Hell with friends like those, you may as well be a hermit.

As for life outside the blogging world, you still have no idea, do you Carpio? Yes, I don't have a job. I have a CAREER. Marriage for convenience? Yeah right. I don't owe you any explanation but just for the heck of it, i'll say my piece. Yes, he is moneyed. But I earn my own keep and certainly did not marry him for his money. You don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about. I have friends. I have a family. I am spelling this out because you clearly don't understand the humor in the blogosphere. It requires a certain IQ level and you clearly don't qualify. Why don't you take your freak show somewhere else? You make me sick!

Crawl back under your rock Carpio. Take Quizana and the rest of your moronic army with you. And if they don't want to go, tell them there's more fun and surprises waiting for them right here.

No matter what kind of hate you dish out, no one can really top your perversions. No amount of insinuation about other people's alleged crime can make people forget what you yourself said about us.

Bottomline is, we know what you're doing, Carpio, and we know what you're selling. You are this wanna-be know-it-all IT pro aping Ethel, who thinks she's the holy grail of the blogging world. She is so ruined no self-respecting person will associate themselves with people like her. Or you. She spews hate and that hate has buried you Carpio. YOU. Sad to say but it works to my advantage. And this is going to be an uphill battle for you. Ethel and the rest of them? They stained you and you helped them. You made your bed, now line it!

Pay the price, Byron. It isn't hard to apologize. But then again, I don't think there's enough left of your soul to recognize that you need to be forgiven.

I need a breather!!

2010-10-23T13:31:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I miss the world of blogging. A friend of mine asked me, "Are you going back to blogging full time?" My answer.. maybe.. NOT! Although I miss it alot. Just can't find time to do it anymore. I can't believe i'm even doing it right now. I promised myself that once I finish work, I am committing myself to lollygagging the rest of the weekend. I am so tired of rushing. I have been rushing from commitment to commitment for several weeks now. Yesterday I flung myself through my day at work in time to take Lex to the vet and get my hair and my nails done. When I got home, I needed to finish cleaning my kitchen and the laundry. By the time I sat down to eat, it was already 10:30 p.m. And I was exhausted. Then I got a call from a friend of mine reminding me of our "lakwatsa" today. Mind you, we talked about it the night before but it totally escaped me. I could've completely slept in. Somehow I did not set my alarm right. Except that my pooch climbed into bed, shoved his paws between my knees just about the time I usually get up for the day. Boy, he's got mommy wrapped around his paw.

Anyway, I got out of bed, feed my puppies and jumped in the shower. Here I am - utterly exhausted. But I can't bail out at the last minute. I need a breather! I'd rather go back to sleep than go somewhere with a bunch of brats with nothing else to do. It's gloomy here in my neck of he woods. Most conducive to doing something behind closed doors (talking about sleeping ;). Won't it be nice if you can just crawl into bed, cuddle with your baby and fall back asleep? I enjoy looking at my baby's face when he's at his most vulnerable state. I love wrapping my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair.. I do love his lips. They are the kind that makes you want to bite.. Most of all, I love his framing knee weakening smirk.. What else can I say, I so love my baby. He can be such a royal pain in the neck sometimes but I do love him. Gosh, I am such a hopeless romantic.

Okay, I'm gonna continue day dreaming in the car. The brats are here. I am so amped up. Need I say more?

my recent escapade

2010-10-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I was ready to go under the knife everything changed when my body went through a great deal of stress from the unexpected little procedure last Monday. I will not go into details of the procedure but man, it hurts like a MOTHER!!! I mean, OUCH!!! I wish I can increase my pain tolerance level but it is what it is. Just the thought of being cut open, stitched and feeling the pain after the anesthetic wears off scares me half to death. It's amazing how a little incident can change you forever. I'm somewhat of a daredevil. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. That's the way I look at life. At least I used to anyway. But now, I am having second thoughts about what I originally planned to do. The only game changer I guess in this situation is how bad do I really want it. I want it enough that I am willing to overlook the risk factors associated with it. Honestly, I am scared. Argh!! I am caught between a rock and a hard spot. I'm just glad that I don't have to make a decision right this very minute. Too early to decide. Or is it? I'll just cross the bridge when I get there.

Movin' on.

For days my mom had been badgering me to post the pictures (how in the world did I end up with 864 shots??) from my recent escapade, which by the way, is by far the best cruise i've been on. It definitely put a slight dent in my SA but it's all worth it. I love the food, the stops, the crew and the ship. I realized one thing though. I want to work on a cruise ship. :) Travel is my passion. If I can work and travel at the same time why not? I am talking silly I know. :) It's never gonna be an option for me. I was talking to our head waiter one night and learned that they really don't make that much. While on their contract they receive a very small salary and have no on board living expenses. They make their money on gratuities. The bar tenders, assistant waiters, waiters and cabin stewards make very little money a month too and rely upon tips, that's why their service is impeccable and second to none.

Anyways, I uploaded some on fb but I have some reservations about posting the rest. To make her happy I would probably spend a little time uploading the remaining pics here. Here's the first batch.

My eyes tell a story. Which one are you reading? I feel like closing them now and drift off to dreamland with my comforting cuddly bear..

More to follow...

just another day

2010-09-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

How can you keep your cool while work piles up? I just can't go into vacation mode while looking at it. Close my eyes I guess and pretend it's not there? Darn it! I'd like to clear my plate as much as possible before I go because I know that I'll be fairly unproductive for about a week thereafter. I only have one day left to get my act together. Sigh.

I think I have enough time to vent (this is where I can safely say anything I want). Don't you find it annoying when people go off on a tangent just because they don't care to listen to what you have to say? Man, it drives me up the wall I swear! The last few months i've been keeping things bottled up. It is so not me. But I don't want to say something and then later regret saying it. And I really don't express my thoughts very well verbally. Burning bridges on the way out is never a good business. I'd rather let them do it (which in my case happens a lot. talk about being so gullible.) I don't have that many friends. Reason is, i've been burned too many times and the pain was insurmountable. Once a person lost my trust, they won't earn and get it back. Like a glass, once broken it can't be restored to its original state. Acquaintances? I have a lot of them. But I keep them at arms length. Am I so adamant about letting people in my box? You bet.

Anyways, this goofball had been trying to subtlety get some information from me. At first, I didn't think much about it. Just recently, i've been asked the same question AGAIN. I mean, can't you take a hint? We are on opposite sides of the spectrum I guess 'cause this goof doesn't seem to get it. For the life of me, what's the fascination with the subject? My God you better explain this to me if it kills me. You know, there are just questions that shouldn't be asked at all or even thought of asking it. Without divulging personal details, the question betrays lack of breeding and bad manners. People will know if one has the proper breeding, character and education by the questions they asked much more than the answers they gave. Why do people shamelessly pry into other people's lives? I can't quite point my finger on it. Words fail me when confronted about something I have no knowledge of. I don't jump into conclusions but I am certain that this person is up to no good. Beware equally of a sudden friend and a slow enemy. It's not far-fetched to think... they will stab you in the back. As much as I hate it, my guard stays up, it's there for a reason and I should learn to accept it and maybe even appreciate it for protecting me against people like this one.

Thank You For Being My North Star :)

2010-09-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

a 180 degree turn around

2010-09-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

Man, today sure feels like a monday. I am dragging my heels. Thank goodness for a three day weekend. But you know what, it's not enough to recuperate. Let alone get a week's worth of work done in a matter of days. I've been running like a chicken with my head cut off. I guess I can't complain 'cause my plans several months prior are slowly unfolding. Lesson learned - DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. Otherwise, you will just be digging your own grave.

My supposed to be low key holiday weekend turned out to be the busiest this year. From prepping the house for my sissy's visit, to decorating lexie's dada's new office to shopping for his new wardrobe. I've never been that exhausted in my life. With little to no sleep, I thought I have reached the end of my rope.

Just the other day, my sissy and I had a long chit chat early in the morning. Sissy, ikaw nga ang aking nawawalang kapatid. :) Sutil, stubborn, malambing, smart at higit sa lahat, shopaholic. Manang mana ka sa akin LOL! No wonder we hit it off beautifully. Seriously, LJ is blessed. So am I, for having such a character in my crazy life. You're one heck of a lady. You're worth your weight in gold. Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. It's not often that I tell people how much they mean to me and just how much I appreciate them but sis, thank you. Of all the many things we talked about, there's one that struck a chord. Yeah, it pays to be good. And it's really not hard to be nice.

The odds of me pulling the plug is astronomical just because I don't see any improvements yet. Dang! It's starting to test my patience. I guess I have to constantly remind myself that it will take patience and careful planning to make it work. Most of all, do not start a new project unless I am committed enough to finish it. I think I am... just VERY impatient. Sorry, it's not one of my best qualities. Working at it though.

Let the waiting game begin. Clock is ticking!!

missing u

2010-09-03T14:23:00.000-07:00

Though I miss you, I can't ask for more.. I am exuberantly happy :)..

still under the weather

2010-09-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

Whew! It's been a rough few days. After battling flu my throat started to feel a little itchy. Can't stand my voice sounding nasal. It drives me nuts! It's just one thing after another. This sucks man. As if it's not enough. My bff is having fun taking shots at me for not showing up last weekend. Hmmm, you're trying to aggravate me further aren't you? I know what makes you tick so don't even go there. I am in my element today and won't let anything get under my skin. Should I apologize for being sick? Geez, cut me some slack would you please? I am NOT a party pooper! I'll make it up to you, crabby. I've heard you went bar hopping after the party. Sounds like you had fun. While I was stuck at home nursing myself back to health. Don't worry mother hen, our bet is still on ;) If I win, you will keep your flapper shut.

forever yours, baby

2010-08-30T15:22:00.001-07:00

it's written all over your face ;)

2010-08-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

In response to your question, no girlie. It's not you. Guilty? Sorry I had to cut it short. I can't be on the phone too long. You know, "work". Tell me, is there something I should know? Somebody will sing like a canary once I start asking questions :). Goodness, did you even sleep? You have too much time on your hands don't you dear? What the heck happened to "no texting past midnight"? Put my money where my mouth is eh? Okay, point taken. You've got yourself a deal girlfriend ;). If you want to play, just be ready to pay. Don't chicken out Caraboo! No buts, no ifs. If I'm doing it you're doing it too. Period. One more thing, watch what you write would you? Knowing you, I will NEVER grant your request. You'd just write anything that comes to mind for the entire world to see. Behave yourself kid :). Anyway, thanks for the chocolates. Are you trying to make me fat?? :) See yah tomorrow!

watch me

2010-08-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

I couldn't be more honest with you. I told you right off the bat, don't play games with me. What, do you think I'm stupid? You just crossed the line. And so did I. Watch me.

many thanks to YOU

2010-08-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

OMG!! Did I? I can't believe it! I thought I won't make it to the next interview. But they called again and tomorrow's the next one. Not enough time to prepare but okay :). GOD, it's my dream job. If it's meant to be, it will happen. If not, thank you for the chance. For now, please give me strength and courage to face them one more time. Another sleepless night tonight..

off to a good start

2010-08-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

Flight booked. Yipee!!! Few more weeks :). It's as if I haven't taken a vacation in years. The anticipation builds up as days go by. Time to shop for my next destination! :) Ciao!

ouch!

2010-08-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

Ouch!!! I think I pulled a muscle in my upper back near my right shoulder. It hurts like hell! Just trying to get in shape and this is what I get. Forget that mess then. It's not worth it.. Joke! :) I'll give it a rest. Hopefully in a couple days I can get back to working out again. I have to. Few more weeks :)

my only one

2010-08-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

This song makes me teary eyed. It sums up how I feel about the one.. the only one..

100 Best Things About Being Pinoy

2010-08-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

Just thought i'll share these with you guys. Kind of funny but somewhat true.

1. Merienda. Where else is it normal to eat five times a day?

2. Sawsawan. Assorted sauces that guarantee freedom of choice, enough room for experimentation and maximum tolerance for diverse tastes. Favorites: toyo't calamansi, suka at sili, patis.

3. Kuwan, ano. At a loss for words? Try these and marvel at how Pinoys understand exactly what you want.

4. Pinoy humor and irreverence. If you're api and you know it, crack a joke. Nothing personal, really.

5. Tingi. Thank goodness for small entrepreneurs. Where else can we buy cigarettes, soap, condiments and life's essentials in small affordable amounts?

6. Spirituality. Even before the Spaniards came, ethnic tribes had their own anitos, bathalas and assorted deities, pointing to a strong relationship with the Creator, who or whatever it may be.

7. Po, opo, mano po. Speech suffixes that define courtesy, deference, filial respect--a balm to the spirit in these aggressive times.

8. Pasalubong. Our way of sharing the vicarious thrills and delights of a trip, and a wonderful excuse to shop without the customary guilt.

9. Beaches! With 7,000 plus islands, we have miles and miles of shoreline piled high with fine white sand, lapped by warm waters, and nibbled by exotic tropical fish. From the stormy seas of Batanes to the emerald isles of Palawan--over here, life is truly a beach.

10. Bagoong. Darkly mysterious, this smelly fish or shrimp paste typifies the underlying theme of most ethnic foods: disgustingly unhygienic, unbearably stinky and simply irresistible.

11. Bayanihan. Yes, the internationally-renowned dance company, but also this habit of pitching is still common in small communities. Just have that cold beer and some pulutan ready for the troops.

12. The Balikbayan box. Another way of sharing life's bounty, no matter if it seems like we're fleeing Pol Pot every time we head home from anywhere in the globe. The most wonderful part is that, more often than not, the contents are carted home to be distributed.

13. Pilipino komiks. Not to mention "Hiwaga," "Aliwan," "Tagalog Classics," "Liwayway" and "Bulaklak" magazines. Pulpy publications that gave us Darna, Facifica Falayfay, Lagalag, Kulafu, Kenkoy, Dyesebel, characters of a time both innocent and worldly.

14. Folk songs. They come unbidden and spring, full blown, like a second language, at the slightest nudge from the too-loud stereo of a passing jeepney or tricycle.

15. Fiesta. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow is just another day, shrugs the poor man who, once a year, honors a patron saint with this sumptuous, no-holds-barred spread. It's a Pinoy celebration at its pious and riotous best.

16. Aswang, manananggal, kapre. The whole underworld of Filipino lower mythology recalls our uniquely bizarre childhood, that is, before political correctness kicked in. Still, their rich adventures pepper our storytelling.

17. Jeepneys. Colorful, fast, reckless, a vehicle of postwar Pinoy ingenuity, this Everyman's communal cadillac makes for a cheap, interesting ride. If the driver's a daredevil (as they usually are), hang on to your seat.

18. Dinuguan. Blood stew, a bloodcurdling idea, until you try it with puto. Best when mixed with jalapeno peppers. Messy but delicious.

19. Santacruzan. More than just a beauty contest, this one has religious overtones, a tableau of St. Helena's and Constantine's search for the Cross that seamlessly blends piety, pageantry and ritual. Plus, it's the perfect excuse to show off the prettiest ladies--and the most beautiful gowns.

20. Balut. Unhatched duck's embryo, another unspeakable ethnic food to outsiders, but oh, to indulge in guilty pleasures! Sprinkle some salt and suck out that soup, with gusto.

21. Pakidala. A personalized door-to-door remittance and delivery system for overseas Filipino workers who don't trust the banking system, and who expect a family update from the courier, as well.

22. Choc-nut. Crumbly peanut chocolate bars that defined childhood ecstasy before M & M's and Hershey's.

23. Kamayan style. To eat with one's hand and eschew spoon, fork and table manners--ah, heaven.

24. Chicharon. Pork, fish or chicken crackling. There is in the crunch a hint of the extravagant, the decadent and the pedestrian. Perfect with vinegar, sublime with beer.

25. Pinoy hospitality. Just about everyone gets a hearty "Kain tayo!" invitation to break bread with whoever has food to share, no matter how skimpy or austere it is.

26. Adobo, kare-kare, sinigang and other lutong bahay stuff. Home-cooked meals that have the stamp of approval from several generations, who swear by closely-guarded cooking secrets and family recipes.

27. Lola Basyang. The voice one heard spinning tales over the radio, before movies and television curtailed imagination and defined grown-up tastes.

28. Pambahay. Home is where one can let it all hang out, where clothes do not make a man or woman but rather define their level of comfort.

29. Tricycle and trisikad. The poor Pinoy's taxicab that delivers you at your doorstep for as little as PHPesos 6.00, with a complimentary dusting of polluted air.

30. Dirty ice cream. Very Pinoy flavors that make up for the risk: munggo, langka, ube, mais, keso, macapuno. Plus there's the colorful cart that recalls jeepney art.

31. Yayas. The trusted Filipino nanny who, ironically, has become a major Philippine export as overseas contract workers. A good one is almost like a surrogate parent--if you don't mind the accent and the predilection for afternoon soap and movie stars.

32. Sarsi. Pinoy rootbeer, the enduring taste of childhood. Our grandfathers had them with an egg beaten in.

33. Pinoy fruits. Atis, guyabano, chesa, mabolo, lanzones, durian, langka, makopa, dalanghita, siniguelas, suha, chico, papaya, singkamas--the possibilities!

34. Filipino celebrities. Movie stars, broadcasters, beauty queens, public officials, all-around controversial figures: Aurora Pijuan, Cardinal Sin, Carlos P. Romulo, Charito Solis, Cory Aquino, Emilio Aguinaldo, the Eraserheads, Fidel V. Ramos, Francis Magalona, Gloria Diaz, Manuel L. Quezon, Margie Moran, Melanie Marquez, Ninoy Aquino, Nora Aunor, Pitoy Moreno, Ramon Magsaysay, Richard Gomez, San Lorenzo Ruiz, Sharon Cuneta, Gemma Cruz, Erap, Tiya Dely, Mel and Jay, Gary V, Manny Pacquiao

35. World class Pinoys who put us on the global map: Lea Salonga, Paeng Nepomuceno, Eugene Torre, Luisito Espinosa, Lydia de Vega-Mercado, Jocelyn Enriquez, Elma Muros, Onyok Velasco, Efren "Bata" Reyes, Lilia Calderon-Clemente, Loida Nicolas-Lewis, Josie Natori, Manny Pacquiao.

36. Pinoy tastes. A dietitian's nightmare: too sweet, too salty, too fatty, as in burong talangka, itlog na maalat, crab fat (aligue), bokayo, kutchinta, sapin-sapin, halo-halo, pastilyas, palitaw, pulburon, longganisa, tuyo, ensaymada, ube haleya, sweetened macapuno and garbanzos. Remember, we're the guys who put sugar (horrors) in our spaghetti sauce. Yum!

37. The sights. Banaue Rice Terraces, Boracay, Bohol's Chocolate Hills, Corregidor Island, Fort Santiago, the Hundred Islands, the Las Pinas Bamboo Organ, Rizal Park, Mt. Banahaw, Mayon Volcano, Taal Volcano. A land of contrasts and ever-changing landscapes.

38. Gayuma, agimat and anting-anting. Love potions and amulets. How the socially-disadvantaged Pinoy copes.

39. Barangay Ginebra, Jaworski, PBA, MBA and basketball. How the vertically-challenged Pinoy compensates, via a national sports obsession that reduces fans to tears and fistfights.

40. People Power at EDSA. When everyone became a hero and changed Philippine history overnight.

41. San Miguel Beer and pulutan. "Isa pa nga!" and the Philippines' most popular, world-renowned beer goes well with peanuts, corniks, tapa, chicharon, usa, barbecue, sisig, and all manner of spicy, crunchy and cholesterol-rich chasers.

42. Resiliency. We've survived 400 years of Spanish rule, the US bases, Marcos, the 1990 earthquake, lahar, lambada, Robin Padilla, and Tamagochi. We even survived Erap.

43. Yoyo. Truly Filipino in origin, this hunting tool, weapon, toy and merchandising vehicle remains the best way to "walk the dog" and "rock the baby," using just a piece of string.

44. Pinoy games: Pabitin, palosebo, basagan ng palayok. A few basic rules make individual cunning and persistence a premium, and guarantee a good time for all.

45. Ninoy Aquino. For saying that "the Filipino is worth dying for,'' and proving it.

46. Balagtasan. The verbal joust that brings out rhyme, reason and passion on a public stage and over transistor radios.

47. Tabo. All-powerful, ever-useful, hygienically-triumphant device to scoop water out of a bucket and help the true Pinoy answer nature's call. Helps maintain our famously stringent toilet habits.

48. Pandesal. Despite its shrinking size, still a good buy. Goes well with any filling, best when hot.

49. Jollibee. Truly Pinoy in taste and sensibility, and a corporate icon that we can be quite proud of. Do you know that it's invaded the Middle East, as well?

50. The butanding, the dolphins and other creatures in our blessed waters. They're Pinoys, too, and they're here to stay. Now if some folks would just stop turning them into daing.

51. Pakikisama. It's what makes people stay longer at parties, have another drink, join pals in sickness and health. You can get dead drunk and still make it home.

52. Sing-a-long. Filipinos love to sing, and thank God a lot of us do it well!

53. Kayumanggi. Neither pale nor dark, our skin tone is beautifully healthy, the color of a rich earth or a mahogany tree growing towards the sun.

54. Handwoven cloth and native weaves. Colorful, environment-friendly alternatives to polyester that feature skillful workmanship and a rich indigenous culture behind every thread. From the pinukpok of the north to the malong of the south, it's the fiber of who we are.

55. Movies. Still the cheapest form of entertainment, especially if you watch the same movie several times.

56. Bahala na. We cope with uncertainty by embracing it, and are thus enabled to play life by ear.

57. Papaitan. An offal stew flavored with bile, admittedly an acquired taste, but pointing to our national ability to acquire a taste for almost anything.

58. English. Whether carabao or Arr-neoww-accented, it doubles our chances in the global marketplace.

59. The Press. Irresponsible, sensational, often inaccurate, but still the liveliest in Asia. Otherwise, we'd all be glued to TV.

60. Divisoria. Smelly, crowded, a pickpocket's paradise, but you can get anything here, often at rock-bottom prices. The sensory overload is a bonus.

61. Barong Tagalog. Enables men to look formal and dignified without having to strangle themselves with a necktie. Worn well, it makes any ordinary Juan look marvelously makisig.

62. Filipinas. They make the best friends, lovers, wives. Too bad they can't say the same for Filipinos.

63. Filipinos. So maybe they're bolero and macho with an occasional streak of generic infidelity; they do know how to make a woman feel like one.

64. Catholicism. What fun would sin be without guilt? Jesus Christ is firmly planted on Philippine soil.

65. Dolphy. Our favorite, ultra-durable comedian gives the beleaguered Pinoy everyman an odd dignity, even in drag.

66. Style. Something we often prefer over substance. But every Filipino claims it as a birthright.

67. Bad taste. Clear plastic covers on the vinyl-upholstered sofa, posters of poker-playing dogs masquerading as art, over accessorized jeepneys and altars--the list is endless, and wealth only seems to magnify it.

68. Mangoes. Crisp and tart, or lusciously ripe, they evoke memories of family outings and endless sunshine in a heart-shaped package.

69. Unbridled optimism. Why we rank so low on the suicide scale.

70. Street food: Barbecue, lugaw, banana-cue, fishballs, IUD (chicken entrails), adidas (chicken feet), warm taho. Forget hepatitis; here's cheap, tasty food with gritty ambience.

71. The siesta. Snoozing in the middle of the day is smart, not lazy.

72. Honorifics and courteous titles: Kuya, ate, diko, ditse, ineng, totoy, Ingkong, Aling, Mang, etc. No exact English translation, but these words connote respect, deference and the value placed on kinship.

73. Heroes and people who stood up for truth and freedom. Lapu-lapu started it all, and other heroes and revolutionaries followed: Diego Silang, Macario Sakay, Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Apolinario Mabini, Melchora Aquino, Gregorio del Pilar, Gabriela Silang, Miguel Malvar, Francisco Balagtas, Juan Luna, Marcelo H. del Pilar, Panday Pira, Emilio Jacinto, Raha Suliman, Antonio Luna, Gomburza, Emilio Aguinaldo, the heroes of Bataan and Corregidor, Pepe Diokno, Satur Ocampo, Dean Armando Malay, Evelio Javier, Ninoy Aquino, Lola Rosa and other comfort women who spoke up, honest cabbie Emilio Advincula, Rona Mahilum, the women lawyers who didn't let Jalosjos get away with rape.

74. Flora and fauna. The sea cow (dugong), the tarsier, calamian deer, bearcat, Philippine eagle, sampaguita, ilang-ilang, camia, pandan, the creatures that make our archipelago unique.

75. Pilipino songs, OPM and composers: "Ama Namin," "Lupang Hinirang," "Gaano Ko Ikaw Kamahal," "Ngayon at Kailanman," "Anak," "Handog,""Hindi Kita Malilimutan," "Ang Pasko ay Sumapit"; Ryan Cayabyab, George Canseco, Restie Umali, Levi Celerio, Manuel Francisco, Freddie Aguilar, and Florante--living examples of our musical gift.

76. Metro Aides. They started out as Imelda Marcos' groupies, but have gallantly proven their worth. Against all odds, they continuously prove that cleanliness is next to godliness--especially now that those darned candidates' posters have to be scraped off the face of Manila!

77. Sari-sari store. There's one in every corner, offering everything from bananas and floor wax to Band-Aid and bakya.

78. Philippine National Red Cross. PAWS. Caritas. Fund drives. They help us help each other.

79. Favorite TV shows through the years: "Tawag ng Tanghalan," "John and Marsha," "Champoy," "Ryan, Ryan Musikahan," "Kuwarta o Kahon," "Public Forum/Lives," "Student Canteen," "Eat Bulaga." In the age of inane variety shows, they have redeemed Philippine television.

80. Quirks of language that can drive any tourist crazy listening in: "Bababa ba?" "Bababa!"

81. "Sayang!" "Naman!" "Kadiri!" "Ano ba!?" "pala." Expressions that defy translation but wring out feelings genuinely Pinoy.

82. Cockfighting. Filipino men love it more than their wives (sometimes).

83. Dr. Jose Rizal. A category in himself. Hero, medicine man, genius, athlete, sculptor, fictionist, poet, essayist, husband, lover, samaritan, martyr. Truly someone to emulate and be proud of, anytime, anywhere.

84. Nora Aunor. Short, dark and homely-looking, she redefined our rigid concept of how leading ladies should look.

85. Noranian or Vilmanian. Defines the friendly rivalry between Ate Guy Aunor and Ate Vi Santos and for many years, the only way to be for many Filipino fans.

86. Filipino Christmas. The world's longest holiday season. A perfect excuse to mix our love for feasting, gift-giving and music and wrap it up with a touch of religion.

87. Relatives and kababayan abroad. The best refuge against loneliness, discrimination and confusion in a foreign place. Distant relatives and fellow Pinoys readily roll out the welcome mat even on the basis of a phone introduction or referral.

88. Festivals: Sinulog, Ati-atihan, Moriones. Sounds, colors, pagan frenzy and Christian overtones.

89. Folk dances. Tinikling, pandanggo sa ilaw, karinosa, kuratsa, itik-itik, alitaptap, rigodon. All the right moves and a distinct rhythm.

90. Native wear and costumes. Baro't saya, tapis, terno, saya, salakot, bakya. Lovely form and ingenious function in the way we dress.

91. Sunday family gatherings. Or, close family ties that never get severed. You don't have to win the lotto or be a president to have 10,000 relatives. Everyone's family tree extends all over the archipelago, and it's at its best in times of crisis; notice how food, hostesses, money, and moral support materialize during a wake?

92. Calesa and karitela. The colorful and leisurely way to negotiate narrow streets when loaded down with a year's provisions.

93. Quality of life. Where else can an ordinary employee afford a stay-in helper, a yaya, unlimited movies, eat-all-you-can buffets, the latest fashion (Baclaran nga lang), even Viagra in the black market?

94. All Saints' Day. In honoring our dead, we also prove that we know how to live.

95. Handicrafts. Shellcraft, rattancraft, abaca novelties, woodcarvings, banig placemats and bags, bamboo windchimes, etc. Portable memories of home. Hindi lang pang-turista, pang-balikbayan pa!

96. Pinoy greens. Sitaw. Okra. Ampalaya. Gabi. Munggo. Dahon ng Sili. Kangkong. Luya. Talong. Sigarillas. Bataw. Patani. Lutong bahay will never be the same without them.

97. OFWs. The lengths (and miles) we'd go for a better life for our family, as proven by these modern-day heroes of the economy.

98. The Filipino artist. From Luna's magnificent "Spoliarium" and Amorsolo's sun-kissed ricefields, to Ang Kiukok's jarring abstractions and Borlongan's haunting ghosts, and everybody else in between. Hang a Filipino painting on your wall, and you're hanging one of Asia's best.

99. Tagalog soap operas. From "Gulong ng Palad" and "Flor de Luna" to today's incarnations like "Mula sa Puso"--they're the story of our lives, and we feel strongly for them, MariMar notwithstanding.

100. Midnight madness, weekend sales, bangketas and baratillos. It's retail therapy at its best, with Filipinos braving traffic, crowds, and human deluge to find a bargain.

Proud to be Pinoy!

not a happy camper

2010-08-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I am NOT a happy camper today. Had to pull an all nighter. Is it ever going to end? Wahhh! soo tired :( I've gotta be prepared for some mind boggling questions. And I think I am. Bring it on!

a little too late

2010-08-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

What do we have here? Hhmmm.. really? Just drop the act and cut to the chase will you? First of all, if you have something to say to me make it quick and simple. Second of all, I have bigger fish to fry so the answer to your question is a resounding no. The day I stopped asking questions was the very same day I completely cut you off. Go figure that out. Why? What you put me through was absolutely unnecesary. You caught me off guard. It's okay though. Sh*t happens. I have no ill feelings toward you. In fact, I don't feel anything. I just don't care anymore. Saying sorry is one thing. But being friends again? Don't hold your breath 'cause I don't see it on the horizon. If you think I am being cold hearted, just think about what you did to me. Remember what you always preach? Toughen up? Well, I have.

mommy time

2010-08-06T21:01:00.000-07:00

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.”

The closest thing i'll ever get to having a baby... and being a mom.

i love you baby..

2010-08-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

I love you my baby more than the air I breath...You are and always will be my life..

thank you

2010-08-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

There's nothing a girl's bestfriend can't fix. Thanks chub!

tired

2010-08-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

Physically and emotionally tired. I had come to the point where I finally acknowledged in my heart i'm done trying. I don't give up on anything without a fight. I will give it my best shot, and if it doesn't work, maybe it's not meant to be. I know, there is never just one way to look at something – there are always different perspectives. In this case, I can honestly say, I have tried my hardest. I explored every avenue I could think of. I tried.. but I failed miserably. Much to my detriment, I never paid attention to what my instinct told me. Now I have to pay the ultimate price.

On a lighter note, it seems like my project is well on its way to completion (thanks mom and dad). It never would have been possible without your support. Spending almost an hour on the phone with my dad made me realize how much I missed him (even though he was lecturing me about setting my priorities right). I hope one day he will come to grips with the fact that his first born is no longer daddy's little girl. My goodness, I'm only a few months shy of turning 33! But he still treats me like a baby. That's what I get for being a brat.. I guess. Well, I am up for the challenge. And it's not just lip service. I can't even speak the language to save my life but okay. I will do it if it kills me. I am my mom's daughter but I take after you popsie! Just remember that :). Be careful what you wish for, plane ticket is expensive :)

Alrighty, time for me to get some shut eye. I'm still under the weather. I hate being sick but it is my legitimate excuse for slacking off. Ciao!

I've had it..

2010-07-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

Things finally came to a head thanks to you.

before the anticipated hiatus

2010-07-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

So many things to do, so little time. I need time. It's not as though i've been able to think straight this past few weeks, due to my inability to cope well with lack of sleep (though I slept pretty good two nights in a row).

My eyes are drooping, and falling flat on my face from some mild form of fatigue would be the most logical thing to do. But, at this point, too much of my mental energy is also going into trying hard to adjust to a newfound state of busy-ness that is not anymore limited to "productive work week" (I used to take my work home to make sure that things get done at my own pace). So many of my dreams are coming true and I can't wait to take on each and every one of them.

Can I just say something, though... I have to get used to not being able to find the many quiet times I used to so enjoy, the free time I could use to do things like finish reading a book or blogging. There are just moments when I just want to insist on moving out, living again in my own house which I decorated, bought appliances and furniture for, had the key to. Make my own breakfast, because that helps me get my rhythm in the morning, and when it's done for you then everything can seem a bit out of balance. Or get behind the wheel accompanied only by a friend whom I can otherwise openly talk of completely private, highly confidential topics.

Of course, I go on my blog and find that I can be somewhat alone there for a moment, so here I am venting out to you =).

My little frustrations do build up, but the bursting can end this minute. I figure that this is the life I need to re-adjust to, I was, for quite a long time, living a life so different than the life back home. I'm here for my loved ones and for the race I choose to join. After all, this is supposed to be the "hit-the-ground-running" part, and I am lucky to be around many people both I know and don't know. There are lots of things to learn from people, and though there are things getting me like lack of some alone time, like in any other situation, you have to look at the big picture and adjust to how things are done where you are, with what you have for the time period.

I'm not sure whether to flinch or savour it as the thought of the real world pierces my skin. All I know is "you're only as good as your last show" so you keep working hard for ever day.

I am still sleepy. I've been venting for an hour now, typing, deleting, typing, deleting. I realize that, maybe I am just looking forward to the things I know I will be accomplishing this year (think positive!).

In performances, they say nerves are good. Because when they're NOT there and you're complacent, that means you are taking something for granted. So, nerves are good.

With an average of 5 hours nightly, voluntarily or involuntarily, how do some people make the most of each "marathon" day? How do you start a new day when you haven't even ended the previous one yet? Gotta learn, gotta learn...

pay off

2010-07-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

Know the feeling of losing something great? Then realizing that,suddenly, you have something you wanted all along without really knowing HOW you got it, WHY you have it, or even that you belong? That's how it felt upon hearing the good news. I am so grateful and it's so surreal :). Hardwork is paying off. Thank you God. I owe it all to YOU...

disaster

2010-06-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

Morning! I am still in a chirpy mood in spite of the disaster yesterday. What an eventful weekend. I spent saturday organizing my stuff and shopping with friends for my planned activities. Sunday? Forget about it. I will remember 2010's father's day celebration for the rest of my natural life. Ladies, have you ever had your bikini trings pulled? A kid swiftly, in one swipe, tugged on my bikini top string and it came off. Freakin' embarrassing man. Thanks boo for coming to my rescue. Goodness, I couldn't look anybody in the eye after what happened. That ended my sun bathing session. What's gonna happen next?

a little out of shape

2010-06-10T22:40:00.000-07:00

My poor baby. I don't blog as much anymore due to my lack of time. You know, recently I’ve been feeling a little out of shape. I haven’t been exercising as much as I used to. I do it once a week but it isn't enough to keep me in shape. What’s worse, I’ve been eating really late and buying things that probably aren’t so good for my health. It’s just been one of those stressful periods, I suppose, where I have so much on my plate that I can’t manage to sit down and have a proper meal. If I’m not at work, I’m out doing something. There never seems to be any downtime in my life. I really just can’t wait ’til things slow down. Will it ever happen? I don't know. Right now I just don't have enough energy to do everything. Sometimes, it takes a few weeks to get back into the swing of things when I start working out again, but after about a week or so, my body adjusts and I get a pretty good routine going. Tomorrow is yet another day. Hopefully i'll be able to spend an hour to exercise..

you complete me

2010-06-09T17:51:00.000-07:00

No more lonely nights. Thank you for the happiness you bring angel. You are the air that I breath. I love you.

without you

2010-06-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

i miss you...

missing u

2010-05-30T00:23:00.000-07:00

Half the world is sleeping. And here I am.. exhausted but still wide awake. Tomorrow is yet another day of beach bumming. Wait a minute. It's already 25 mins past midnight. I guess I am not gonna have enough time to rest. Argh! Goodness, I'd kill to fall asleep. I miss my baby.. He's definitely keeping me awake..

soooo tired

2010-05-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

Sissy! Honga, buti may 3 day weekend tau makakapag decorate ka ng house. Sis ha, wag muna kau lipat ulit. Di pa nga tau kita eh. Ako din I am looking forward to my VL this year. It's always good to break away from everything. Kamusta naman ang bebe luna ko? I am so happy for you sis. Finally may job ka na that you enjoy. Hirap kase kapag papasok lang tau 'cause we have to. Eh si fafa JL kamusta naman? One of these days chika tau ulit :).Thank goodness somebody is giving me a break. It's about time that I get some rest. I'm tellin' yah it's quite a commute but it's worth the drive. This part of the country is just so pretty. Beach on one side and mountain on the other. Oh, and I forgot to bring my swim wear. Darn it! As usual, last minute packing. Oh well. In a minute we're gonna top for lunch and moi will be taking pictures ;). Have a great weekend everyone!!

my best dream ever

2010-05-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

I had the best dream EVER... but it was just a dream. I hope someday my dream will come true. Hopefully..

Sissy!!! It's okay. There's always a next time. For sure we're gonna have a blast ;). Any memorial day plans yet? We'll be in San Luis Obispo Friday and Morro Bay saturday. My second mom and dad invited us to their ranch up north and spend a couple days with them. Honestly, I am so not looking forward to it. Not because I am not excited to see them but they were talking about playing golf. I suck at it! Ask me to do anything but that. But I want to make myself useful. Maybe i'll just be their designated chaffeur. I'll drive the golf cart. :)

Last night was probably the best night i've ever had in a long time... until that freakin' phone call at 2 in the morning. Cielo, we need to talk. Doggone you! What did you do that for??! What the heck is wrong with you? Don't get scared 'cause i'm not mad.. I am just terribly pissed! You and your camel friend can do whatever you want for all I care. Just DON'T CALL ME at 2 in the morning just to say "HI". Got that? I love you still but don't push it alright bestfriend? :) Bottomline, I am NOT inetersted in what he has to say and he's not welcome here to say the least. And yeah, I can be very difficult sometimes. He probably thinks i'm a b*tch. Well, only when somebody tries to bring out the devil in me then I become one. He just can't take a hint. Alright, be good. Amishyu!

tipsy little goosey

2010-05-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

Cake and wine. Perfect combination...NOT!! Darn it! My head is killing me :(. Just got home half an hour ago. Reason is my friends were here for a surprise bday dinner. Well, they've been bugging me since I got back to celebrate but I kept putting it off. I really wasn't in the mood to go out tonight but since they drove all the way from Redondo Beach I felt like I had to accomodate their request and be there for an hour tops but I end up staying for three hours. End result - tipsy little goosey.. Wahhhhhhh!!! I have work tomorrow :( I just want to lay down with my baby and fall asleep. But I couldn't :(

date set

2010-05-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

Finally. It's not until October so I'm good. Boy, I am getting myself in a lot of trouble doing this but what the heck. I only live once. Might as well enjoy it. Next destination - Statue of Liberty! Yey! Alrighty, nyt nyt fwendships!

hello!

2010-05-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

Hello! Just peeking in. Hopefully in a few days i'll have time to update my blogs and drop ECs as well. Sissy!! A warm welcome from moi and lexie baby. muahzz!! Sige, chika tayo mamya. Hay naku sis, kakambal ko na ata ang trouble. Wherever I go nakabuntot. Ano yong mga nabasa mo?? Yong kay camel ba? eh yong kay Ivan nabasa mo? lol i'll tell you later. Deadma lang ako sis. He's not even close. Kay cheche naman love is in the air. Thanks best for watching out for me kahit na pasaway ka.

The emails keep pouring in and my phone has been ringing off the hook. How long have I been gone? Goodness, it's crazy! I planned on giving myself a couple of days to recuperate but so much for that. My mom called just a few minutes ago asking if I can make it home on xmas. What can I say. She can't get enough of her child I guess. And then I have to get back to the architect about the floor plan, give him the green light to start the job, then wire some more moolah. Ouch!! Again? Getting into this business has involved more work and money than I bargained for. Sometimes I feel like I am at the end of myself. But when I look at what's up ahead, I feel better. That place is the best thing i've ever laid my eyes on. I'm not saying it because it's mine. It really is beautiful. Now i'm ready to retire :)

My boss called early in the morning too. First three words that came out of his mouth - NO VL for me until the last quarter. Yeah right. He honestly thinks that he can keep me from doing what I love doing by loading me up with work. I still have some vacay coming up but until then, I have to walk a straight line.

Okie doks, I gotta go. I have other matters to attend to. Oh, before I forget, thanks for the box lexie's dada. I don't know what's inside it but thanks for the presents... and for being fair with me. You're the best.. and i'm the luckiest. Have fun in cold Chicago!!!

my last day

2010-04-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

I've heard that you don't really enter into "relaxation mode" until a week of vacation has elapsed. And that the second week is when you really start to replenish your reserves. I've seen this myself; we went on a cruise to Hawaii for two weeks, and it felt like returning to work was harder than it would have been if I had never left. Tomorrow is the first day of my vacation and I feel extreeemely burned-out. What can I do to make sure that I get the maximum benefits during this time off? Cheche said completely detach from the internet and TV. That's possible. I think I can do that. My most refreshing vacation was when I had something like 8-9 days off and used 5 of them to go backpacking (that's 5 full days and something like a half day on either end getting to/from the trailhead). It was an immersion into a completely different world, and time slowed way down.

Have you heard the expression 'I'm already there?' Visualizing one or two of your planned activities can be a way of getting into vacation mode before you get there. And not in a detailed, 'how will I do this' way but more like 'it's going to be great when I get there and do this.'More often than not I find I can get right into vacation mode if I'm looking forward to it. The times when I haven't have been times of high stress just before leaving.

I enjoy being with people, but I need time in between socializing to recharge. I recently went to visit my family for a week and found that the way I had arranged my visit, it was very, very difficult for me to have any time alone. I came back to work (where I deal with quite high-needs people) utterly exhausted.

Today is my last day of work before my VL. Meaning, today should be normal or slack (just kidding boss:)) I plan on wiping myself out physically on the first day, maybe even the first evening after the last day of work (tonight). I just hope I don't disable myself or i'll spend my vacation limping and yelping. According to my dearest Cielo if you aren't sweating, you aren't doing it right and suggested that we get really physically drained from being active all day or night doing something we enjoy. We will sleep like a baby and wake up feeling like life is different. I couldn't agree with you more best. But on doing something all night to drain me physically? I don't think we're on the same page sweetie. I am far from being ready LOL!!! That's not my idea of a good time. Ask Ivan if he can help you carry out your plan. I bet you he won't say no :) Do you remember your promise? If not, listen to this.

One reason why I can't drain myself physically all night... I just can't...
I love you baby... as promised, I will love you faithfully forever..

wasted!

2010-04-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

At last, working like there's no tomorrow is almost over. A couple more days and i'm done for the week. Yey!! Somehow I managed to come home at a reasonable time today. I felt sleepy before I left work. I thought I was gonna fall asleep behind the wheels. Why do I seem like I get a better night of rest after I've drank a moderate amount of alcohol? Does that mean on a normal night I'm not sleeping properly and alcohol is putting me into a deeper sleep or something? This issue is slightly disturbing to me. It's just something I've noticed a couple of times. It's just that quite often I can sleep like 9 hours and still feel tired after I get up but then I can drink a moderate amount of alcohol one night, go to sleep for about 8 hours, and feel great when I wake up. What gives? I drink socially, lately maybe once or twice a week. Previously I would go for months without having any alcohol. The evenings that I have a glass of wine I sleep like a baby.

Like right now, i'm drinking mike's. Two bottles of that will put me to sleep. I'm a little bit tipsy while writing this post but i'm still not too tired to go to bed. Maybe the third one will do the trick ;). This is me... when wasted. Well, not too wasted but getting there :)

Alrighty, gotta go. My girl friend Kate is getting on my nerves. I shouldn't really say that 'cause she's keeping me company (that's really sweet of you by the way). Thanks for cooking dinner your royal sexiness! I really appreciate that. I'll make it up to you ;).

hurry up!

2010-04-20T17:30:00.000-07:00

Wahhh! :( I'm still at work. I'm sorry fwendships can't make it again tonight. What a life man. Well, one more week... Hi sissy! i'm so excited i'm losing sleep over it. Yeah, i'm the queen of excuses :). I have a justification for everything ;). I really don't feel comfortable driving on the freeway but if a situation calls for it, I will. Like seeing you and driving for hours by myself? That idea pumps up my adrenaline. I just have to learn my way around. Only thing is that it will drive them nuts if we see each other often if you know what I mean :). Shopping!! And yeah, di pa din nya ko tinatantanan. Tanungin ba naman ako kung pwede na. Iba naman yong line na ginamit. Sabi ba naman will you be my asawa? With matching singsing pa talaga. Natuto managalog sissy! Naaawa na nga ako kase lahat na ata ng kahihiyan at sama ng loob inabot sa akin nun. Siguro kung single ako baka pa LOL!!! Biro lang po. Kitams, maldita talaga sissy mo but tell papa Andy not to worry. Good girl naman ang mommy ni Lexie eh. Muahzz! Call me kagad pagdating na pagdating nyo dito ah. I don't know when i'll be back but i'll be here just in time for my special day. Yikes!! I don't want to think about it. OKay, gotta get back to work. Ciao!

Love always wins... Love is important and only it counts..

2010-04-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

Heyo! Finally, i'm ready to hit the sack. It's been a long day and moi is really exhausted. Boy, I wish there's more than 24 hours in one day so I can accommodate everything. I am pretty limited as to what I can do after work due to the fact that I still have so much to do before my departure. I am making up for the time that I won't be here (thanks boss for working with me on this. I owe you one :)). Now that I have a new baby I will have to make time for it too. Juggling between my job and that is not an easy task but i'll pull it through. I just want to thank my mom and dad for taking care of things on my behalf. Sorry guys, I just can't drop everything and go. Soon though I promise. I'll make it up to you.

Okay, on to the next one. How do you say "i'm hungry" in spanish? Some moron told me "MUEVE EL CULO CABRON" is the spanish translation. Nice one Jack. Just keep your moronic blunders to yourself okay? It's not nice. How about if I say "Hindi ka lang tanga, bobo ka pa" to your face? How would you feel? You're just a classic example of someone who's full of himself with nothing to show for it. You embarrassed me! I'll let it go. You better watch it next time.

And the last one for tonight. It's quite long so please bear with me.

I don't even know where to start. My girlfriend specifically asked me to blog about this in hopes of telling her ex-fiance what she has to say. For some reason he's not returning her phone calls. International phone calls are pretty expensive most especially if you're calling from the Philippines to the US. I hope you know that guy. Anyways, few days ago, I got a message from my friend telling me that her fiance called off the wedding. At first I thought she was just trying to get my reaction. I just gave them a copy of my packet and now this? I couldn't believe it until we talked last night. I'm telling you, it was one of the worse experiences I have ever had to endure. Everything I said fell on deaf ears. Nothing seemed to register. She was really upset. There was a time where she screamed at me totally forgetting that I wasn't Ivan but I didn't take offense 'cause I knew I was just a sound board. I hope this won't come out wrong. Cheche, there's always two sides to the story. I don't know who's fault it is (not that it matters anyway) but in your situation, nobody comes out a winner.

I know it hurts like no other. Feel the pain and cry if you have to. But don't beat yourself up for something that didn't work out for you. Time is the key. When you love someone you must know when it is time to let go. As hard as this may sound, strength, courage and knowledge is gathered from a broken heart. No one promised that love would last forever, nor that it wouldn't, it's just a chance. Never let bad feelings or experiences change the person you are. No one wants a wounded bird, so understand that you need time to heal. There is no set time on when this will happen but just let it take its course. When the time is right and you feel like you are ready to love again, don't look for it, let it find you. Life is too short to give up the chance of true love for yourself. Go out into the world and continue to be the wonderful person that you are.

If you truly, truly loved him, then you'd be able to realize that it's alright to let him go. True love gives and expects nothing in return. It's easier said than done but only when you stop pursuing him, will you open the door to that perfect person who will love you back with the same intensity that you will love him. Just think about that.

Things happen when they are meant to be. People part for reasons beyond our comprehension but the reality remains if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. You don't have to force it. That's the power of destiny.

Love always wins... Love is important and only it counts..

beautiful day

2010-04-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

Morning! It's so beautiful outside. I can smell the ocean from where i'm sitting. Sissy! Can't wait to see you and amishu you too!! Got the greenlight from the boss :)

Seems like after my VL i'm gonna have to work my tail off again. I won the bid on this property i've been keeping my eye on and they want the payment wired ASAP. Goodness, I never expected it to be this soon. Hopefully I'll make money off it. It's a gamble but I want to try different avenues to double my investment so I can retire at 50 :). No new car for me this year darn it! It's alright though. It can wait(I really don't want to wait but I have no choice). Sigh.

busy bee

2010-04-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

This week has been crazy busy. See, there's busy and crazy busy. I've been a little of both lately that's why my blogging has been pretty light. And what's eating up my time? WORK. I don't even have time to scour the internet. I had someone tell me recently if you feel like you have too much on your plate then just get a bigger plate. I love the concept behind it but I couldn't ever quite get this to apply to my life.

I am not the type of person that works best under pressure. Some people love to put things off and wait until the stress level is so high that they become so empowered by the pressure to get things done. I am quite the opposite. If I get too many things going at once I seem to shut down and become so overwhelmed I have to stop and breath and figure out how to relieve some of the pressure.

I've tried so hard to figure out what I can drop and what is undroppable from my life but to no avail. These days, I feel like it's always something coming up that I have to deal with and I get overwhelmed trying to make everything work! I've already sacrificed important things I shouldn't sacrifice(like working out, eating healthy, me time). I know better than to sacrifice sleep. But I still get so tired.

I am most effective when I keep myself busy but not over committed. If I have too little or too many things to do, my life feels off balanced. I wish I can take back control of my life. Just trying to figure out how...

i do

2010-04-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

Yey! Second day of the work week. Three days more to go! I was listening to this song on my way to work. I was so into it that i missed my turn. Anyways, a friend of mine sent me a compilation of songs. This one is my favorite right now. Gosh, i'm such a hopeless romantic. Been playing it over and over at work. There were times I stared at something and smile. My boss (who's really nosy by the way) caught me doing it. What else can I say. Thank you :).

on a more serious note, my friend's fiance called off the wedding. She's beyond upset and has every rigtht to be. Che, my heart goes out to you. I won't sit here and say it's gonna be okay 'cause I know it's not. At least for the time being. But you have to take care of yourself. Don't let yourself go. Please? I promise i'll do what I can. I already left him a message.

tenchu God

2010-04-06T11:55:00.001-07:00

In the grand scheme of things, while some aspects of life have been challenging, I really can't complain. After all, things are slowly falling into place from a career standpoint.

Moving on....

I am not at liberty to say anything at this time but I got a call this morning confirming what I thought would happen anytime soon. I was ecstatic about it but my boss wasn't. Upon hearing the news I told him matter of factly that I am taking some time off next month. I am not asking too much, am I? I've been good. Don't you think good girls deserve to get what they want? That's so juvenile I know. Well, it's just me talking. But I'm going. Paid or not. So, there ;)

a dear friend

2010-03-31T17:54:00.000-07:00

What seemed to be a beautiful day end up being crappy. Today I handled my first termination. Letting go of someone very dear to me was hard. I had to execute it first thing in the morning. He'd been warned many times but he didn't do a thing about it. A part of me says give him one more chance but my hands are tied. I couldn't even look him in the eye while serving him the notice. Sometimes I find it so hard to manage my people knowing how close they are to me. Gosh, I feel so guilty but I have to stand my ground. As if it wasn't enough. While having lunch I got a call from Nestor telling me that one of JR's close friend had been diagnosed with cancer. I thought he was just kidding but then I realized it's not something to joke about. Life is unfair, death even more so. Breaking some bad news to anybody is not right up my alley. Calling JR and telling him the news was awfully hard. Without saying a word I know that he took it real hard. Scott is one of his closest friend if not the best. I know the guy from way back. He was the one who guided me through my immigration process. He used to be the company's legal counsel until he quit in 2007. But their friendship continues probably until one of them expires. He's the only one who can say "i love you bud" to JR without batting an eyelash. JR would in turn say "I do too". A lot of people may find it odd that two guys are professing their love for each other and what not. But to them, it comes naturally. These are just one of the many things that his better half and I learned to embrace over the years. One night as I was checking the voice mail, I came across this one message from Scottie telling JR how much he missed him and that he can't wait to spend time with him and the gang. Of course I raised my eyebrows. "Am I actually married to a fruitcake?", I thought to myself. I was trying to brace myself and for days I'd been trying to find the perfect timing to confront him about the voice mail. But then I didn't have the guts to ask 'cause I know he'll just laugh at me and worse, he may think i'm hallucinating. I don't know if it's just me but I don't really check JR's computer, his planner or even his cellphone. Some wives would probably get suspicious if their husbands give them reasons to do so. Like for instance, going to Vegas by themselves. Travelling out of the country even or an every Friday "guys night out". JR can do all that without me constantly asking where he's going and with who. As long as Scottie is with him I know he's in good hands. We often joke about them having an affair because of how close they are. They are joined at the hip as they say. And now that he's terribly sick, I don't know what life's gonna be like for the both of them. Please God, help our friend Scottie. Please spare him the pain. May he find solace in YOU and in his friends who love him so dearly.

get well soon Scottie

2010-03-31T15:27:00.000-07:00

Why bad things happen to good people I don't know. Life's a bit*h sometimes. But we just have to play the cards we're dealt. I'm sorry Scott. There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better. Get well soon bud. We love you. See you soon...

when the cat's away the mice will play

2010-03-30T18:48:00.002-07:00

Darn right!! When the man of the house is away, the little wifey will play ;). Trouble? No, i'm being a good girl. JR flew to Hawaii to visit their branch in Honolulu and from there, he'll fly to Maui to see a friend. Technically, lexie's mommy is a single girl again for the whole week. Hmmmm... bored? Not really. Melissa and I went to Orange County to see some of her friends the other night. We went bowling and had dinner at the Market Broiler. Around 11 pm, I was already bugging her to go home 'cause I have work the next day. That doggone girl gave me the keys and asked me to drive even after telling her that freeway driving scares the crap out of me. Long story short, I drove home. I almost got hit while freeway merging by speeding driver who failed to "Thru traffic merge left". I'm telling you my life flashed before my eyes. Melissa had one drink too many that I was afraid to let her get behind the wheels. Instead, she just helped me with directions. I don't even know how to read a map to save my life. And the GPS was no help at all. Not only it distracts me but I hate it period. I tried to regain my composure and started driving again. All of a sudden she just blurted out that I drive like an old man "f" (the four letter word I promised not to say anymore). Instead of getting mad I was cracking up. Man, I can't begin to imagine how old man do their thing. Not that I wanna know but hearing it from her makes me wonder if she had ever seen one. Anyways, I am a defensive driver but what she said challenged me a little bit. So I floored it (almost rear-ending the guy in front of me). Okay, I was guilty of riding his tail alright. Drunk people are so hard to please I guess 'cause there she was complaining again that I drive like a maniac. What a backseat driver man. I got tired of the criticism so I moved over to the slow lane and took my sweet time. We got home safe thanks to me. It was quite a chore and I have no plans of doing it again anytime soon. It was pretty scary but over all I had fun. The one thing that motivates me to do stuff like that is my baby bear. Those two words will make me do anything.

bed time stories

2010-03-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness I can finally get some shut eye. I am soooooo exhausted. Since last week all I did was work my tail off (I was on call even on my vacation can you believe that?) I wasn't feeling well the whole time I was off from work. Friday was the worst of the worst. The day before we had to go to Macy's after dinner to look for my shoes. Last minute packing irritates the living daylights out of me 'cause I always end up forgetting the most important stuff. Anyways, after spending an hour shopping, we head back to the hotel. I asked for some alone time 'cause for some reason I felt the anger brewing. It was almost like I was PMSing and I didn't want JR to be the receiving end of it. True enough, I was. The next day, I spent the whole day in bed. JR woke me up for lunch. I thought the meds will ease the pain but nah. It didn't help at all. While I was lying in bed, I looked at my dress and realized that there's no way I can wear it that night. But of course I'd have to figure out something to keep JR company for "appearances". He knew what my problem was and suggested to try the alternative (I cannot elaborate on that here but Polar Bear probably knows what I am talking about :)). So I did and boy, it hurts like hell!!! I was in so much pain for hours I could barely smile. Never again would I touch it with a ten foot pole. Never ever again. If I remember it right, it's been almost four months. Yeah, it's been that long.

I was in a lot of discomfort last Friday but I managed to dance and smile.

not too good of a day

2010-03-22T13:25:00.000-07:00

What a way to start the day. I came in happy as a lark this morning until I went throuh one of my people's report. Ugh!! I don't second guess myself most of the time but now I am starting to question my management and communication skills. I don't know if he's deliberately testing my patience but this is the second time this has happened. Boy, I got a taste of my own medicine. He just do whatever he wants! Well, he's gotta play by the rules or his head will roll next. I answer to somebody and right now he is not particularly happy about the whole thing. I will be doggone if I take the heat on that one. Looks like i'll have to though. Darn it!!! My vacation is in a few days. I hope this doesn't ruin it for me.

in love

2010-03-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but i'm just so happy today. Could it be that I am head over heels in love? In love with life I suppose. Or maybe I am at peace with myself and life as a whole. My bestfriend had me listen to this song while we were talking last night. I just love it.

I love you baby.. you are, and have always been, my dream...

shoes and more shoes...

2010-03-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yey! I got my LOA request approved! Whew! I was at work from 7 am to 7 pm yesterday trying to get things done. Reason is, i've been working on my project totally forgetting the one thing that I have to finish by the end of the week. I can guarantee that my report sitting in a file on my computer isn’t going to miraculously get done one day all by itself. Mind you, it would be a welcomed thing but life just doesn’t work that way for some reason. I also like to remind myself that simply because it's almost ready doesn't mean I can sit back with my feet up.

I have some projects that have been idling for awhile that I want to get back to, but in order to do that I have to resist the temptation to start something new.

So there I am this week, starting all over. Guess I needed to remind myself that there’s still work to be done. I believe I’ve perfected the art of dragging my heels long enough. I'm not gonna have enough time to blog for the next few days but I will visit your blogsites. Gosh, I miss my baby.

Later today, Katie and I will go to Victoria Gardens. I came across these shoes via this online store I'm Revolting and I think they're pretty killer. I liked them, but just couldn't decide if they would have the look that I like.

the gift

2010-03-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

I soooo love this song. After days of agonizing pain(it really made me cranky), I am finally back in my element today. Few days more...

winning

2010-03-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.”